Dec 19, 2009

QUERY - THE UNCOMMON ONE (2nd revision)

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the sample pages.

Okay - after much thought and re-writes, I hope I came up with something that doesn't sound like TWILIGHT.

Dear [Agent Name]

Like all vampires, John Pennington can slip into the minds of mortals and control their thoughts and actions. Touch their skin and he can read their thoughts or bring the ones he wants to the surface, and his saliva can heal the marks his teeth leave behind after he feeds on them. But unlike most vampires, when John sees a mortal in trouble, he will step in and help any way he can as long as it doesn’t reveal his true identity.

So he doesn’t do anything different on the night he finds an unconscious woman being tossed into a trunk by a serial killer. It’s not until he places the still unconscious woman in her car that he discovers a scent so enticing it draws him closer to her and when he touches her skin, he feels a rush of warmth he never thought possible. He’s intrigued, but vampires don’t involve themselves with humans and he leaves her, without any knowledge of him or his deed.

Sarah Daugherty has survived an abusive ex-husband and is on her own for the first time. When she wakes in her car with vague memories of being abducted, she’s terrified, and the following night takes up an offer to go out after work. Only looking for company, what she finds instead is a sexy bartender named John. So what if he’s allergic to the sun. So what if he’s on a special liquid diet. His touch causes her heart to race and sets her body on fire. She convinces him to give dating a chance.

John finds himself falling in love with Sarah and it’s with all his inner strength to keep their relationship platonic, for he made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t make love to her until she knew the truth. But the fear of losing her forever becomes too much of a risk for him to take and he keeps putting off what he knows in his heart he must do.

THE UNCOMMON ONE is a paranormal romance of 109,000 words. The complete manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Stacy McKitrick