Aug 26, 2010

Query- The End Begins (2nd Revision)

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

Dear __________,

The End Begins is a 120,000 word epic sci-fi/fantasy story that follows Rai, an outcast seeking her lost parents while she copes as the only sorceress among a human population during a time of war. To private special interests, she offers herself as a mercenary to gain knowledge of her past and of the world around her.

For her latest assignment she must protect the Source of Sentient Free Will. Though to the common man it appears to be an apple, it remains unclaimed by the invading forces of the C.U.T., the Collation of United Territories. They close in on all sides, taking control of any ‘alien’ technology that has come into this world.

But as the population of anomalies like Rai grows, it forces the C.U.T. to go after the coveted fruit and take down anyone in their path. Against an army, aided by pockets of residential resistance, she must navigate the dangerous territory while racing against the C.U.T. to stop them from their ultimate conquest.

Sample chapters are available upon request. Thank you for your consideration.

Query- The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess (first revision)

Click here to read the original query.

Genre question: The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess, completed at 85,000 words is about a late bloomer who finally grows up with a little help from a ghost.
The Tale of Lizzie Brogan and The Moon Goddess, completed at 85,000 words, is humorous, light paranormal, about a late bloomer who finally grows up with a little help from a ghost.

While tending her family's five little row houses in Brooklyn, Lizzie meets the ghost of her Aunt Annie May, a bawdy, talented Broadway performer, whose portal to this life is a tramp steamer and an old wooden trunk from the Belasco Theatre.

Aunt Annie tells Lizzie she is a direct descendent of the Moon Goddess and must use the Celtic Sacred Book of Spells to remove a family curse and help clear the way for the true magic of love.

I read about you on Chuck Sambuchino's Blog; A Guide To Literary Agents, and I believe my work meets your criteria. Pasted to the bottom of this e-mail are the first ten pages of the book. Thank you for your consideration and time.


Later that evening after Joe leaves for his evening shift, I am reclining on the loveseat basking in the glow of great sex, when I hear her cough. "Aw, can't you find another portal, like in the Port Authority? I can put your trunk in a locker and lose the key. You'll be known as the Ghost of Arrivals and Departures."

"Watch your mouth. You're supposed to set things straight and all you've managed to do so far, is play patty-cakes with the Latin and get drunk with the harlot."

I cannot believe I am arguing with a ghost. What the hell, Joe is working and I haven't anything better to do.

"Of course you have something better to do."

"You read my mind?"

"I can't always. Some things I am not allowed to see or know."

"Can other people see you?"

"I tell you true, they cannot."

"So if Joe were in the room, he wouldn't be able to see you?"

"This is so." She takes another long drag on the empty cigarette holder and smiles. "Though I've been here 'enuf time to know the shenanigans what goes on in this room."

"Are you sure no one can see or hear you?"

"I have visited with your mum over the years."

"Not my father?"

She sits on the top of my kitchen counter. "No, your da thinks it’s a ball of malarkey. You can no see, if you don't believe."

"I'm thinking you're not telling me the real reason you came and I'd love to smudge you out of my life."

"You're an ungrateful sod."

I ignore her and ask, "You follow me when I go out?"

"There are different levels of afterlife. Sorry to say, I am bound to small areas where the trunk resides. I have enjoyed watching the children play in the park and I like the hardware lady. Since Spain, I've been with Esther. Your mum worried you might find me too early."

"Joe is coming back tomorrow."
"I can't watch when you are playing with the boy or when you are tending your lotions and such in the bath." She drops off the counter.

"You can't watch me when I … you know?"

"No, and if I were able, I would not."