Jul 29, 2010

REMEMBERING YOU -- women's fiction second revision

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

If Genna had thought going home would be hell, she would have brought along her hand basket.

Returning home to Bristol, Rhode Island for the annual Fourth of July parade for the first time in ten years, Genna is more than excited to share the great news about her fantastic promotion as executive kitchen manager at a swanky country club in Delaware. However, she isn’t home five minutes before trouble starts when she runs into her ex-fiancĂ©. Although everyone says he’s no good, Genna can’t see through her memories clearly enough to discern if they’re right.

Genna’s problems escalate as she discovers her aunt may have Alzheimer’s and no one in the family wants to deal with it. Angie is hysterical over a bad pap smear and a broken marriage. Robby completely shuts down when he finds out his plaid and pearl wearing girlfriend is pregnant. To put the icing on the cake, her beloved uncle has a heart attack.

Genna finds keeping her uncle’s diner open during the busiest time of the year is more than just hard work, it is in her blood and she questions if she should give up her new job in Delaware to stay in Bristol. And when little Petie DiCampo appears, all grown up and looking like a calendar boy, she wonders if he could be the man to finally break down the walls she’s built around herself since the night her parents were killed by a drunk driver when she was a kid.

In twenty-one days, Genna figures out all the answers to her family’s problems before she heads back to Delaware. She also decides living without love is not in her future, the problem is, which man will she choose?

REMEMBERING YOU is a completed work of women’s fiction at 87,000 words.

Seaweeds Query (version 4)

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

Click here to read the second revision.

An unusual love triangle arises between a young man, a mermaid, and a siren in SEAWEEDS, a 65,000-word contemporary fantasy.

Sky Hunter’s twenty-third birthday brings him a boat party, strange presents, and a hook-up with sexy Melanie. An evening of pleasure turns into a night of survival when Sky falls off the boat and nearly drowns. He is rescued by a mermaid and winds up on the beach the next morning, disoriented and having no clue what saved him until he discovers a girl with violet eyes washed up nearby. She can’t speak and has trouble walking. Sky believes the girl is the mermaid. Why she is a human now bewilders him, but her charm and innocence draws him to help her. Sky is poetic so he calls her Pearl because she comes from the ocean. And in a few short days, Sky falls head over heels for her.

He’s not bothered by her strange behaviors, such as hitting the car horn whenever they go for a ride or eating all his cat’s sardines. In fact, they make her all the more enjoyable to be around because he never knows what to expect, like when she dances at his sister’s wedding or when her first words are: “Love. Pearl love Sky.”

There’s just one problem. Melanie is livid about Sky’s new girlfriend. She slaughters his cat and threatens to murder his family if he chooses to stay with Pearl. Sky refuses to give in to Melanie’s threats, certain that he can outsmart her. But when he discovers that Melanie is a siren who has to seduce a man before feeding him to the ocean, he must find a way to resist her advances long enough to save himself—and Pearl.

SEAWEEDS is The Little Mermaid meets Fatal Attraction. Thank you for your time and consideration.

I've gotten so much help already and I really feel my query is close to being ready for agents but I'm still torn with a couple of lines such as: "Sky is poetic so he calls her Pearl because she comes from the ocean." I also have a new paragraph in the middle. THANKS!

Nonfiction Query: Einstein's Gift: The Engineering of Lucid Dreams

What if you were given a set of cognitive tools that enabled you to lucid dream any conceivable experience with precision? What if these tools not only opened up a brand new area of experience, but also unified previously disparate facts in the fields of, science, art theory and consciousness studies?

Einstein’s Gift: The Engineering of Lucid Dreams unifies disparate facts in three fields of study. In the field of science, empirical evidence proves that our senses do not perceive objects, rather they detect an abstraction that philosophers call raw sense data, or more accurately, abstract sense data). In the field of art, the advent of Cubist painting 1910-1912 is Braque and Picasso’s unconscious acknowledgement that the senses perceive an abstraction. This acknowledgement continues through the Movements of Modern Art and continues into Post Modern and Contemporary Art. In the forty-year-old field of consciousness studies, the fact that the senses perceive abstract sense data, lays an empirical foundation for a radically new kind of science – a first-person science of consciousness. Handling abstract sense data allows anyone who is interested the ability not only to choose the contents of their lucid dreams before hand, but also to experience themselves in two places at one time. Einstein's Gift is a must-have for lucid dreamers, artists, academics, and anyone interested in the nature of consciousness.

A first-person science of consciousness attempts to bring the spiritual back into science and is one of academia’s hottest new fields of study. Roger Penrose, Dan Lloyd, and Douglas R. Hofstadter, all contemporary academic scholars involved in attempts to establish a first-person science of consciousness, are employing narrative non-fiction as a means to explain their theories of consciousness. Unlike their books, which define and philosophize the nature of consciousness, Einstein’s Gift narrates actual first-hand experiences from the author's own engineered lucid dreams. The Engineering of Lucid Dreams eschews narrating details of the author's personal day-to-day life and instead utilizes a fictional, but academic dialogue between two characters. The first character is a college student studying abstract art (a portrayal of the author learning how to engineer lucid dreams). The second is Einstein (based on the historical Albert Einstein 1879 – 1955 whose intellectual commentary and guidance are based upon 17 years of the author’s academic and shamanic study). In the classic Aristotle vs. Socrates dialogue and debate, the young painter and Einstein argue over the existence of abstract and imaginary sense data, the nature of Postmodern Art, the Movements of Modern Art, the disappearance of the Avant-Garde and the exquisite nature of engineered lucid dreams.

The Engineering of Lucid Dreams unifies a new cognitive understanding of abstract art with the contemporary academic attempt to establish an empirical basis for a first-person science of consciousness. The book confronts many of the time-tested and treasured ideas about God, evolution, the nature of reality, the nature of dying and very definition of what it means to be alive. The author’s first-hand lucid dreaming experiences demonstrate how he answered his big speculative questions: Where did the Neanderthals go? Can human consciousness experience the ultraviolet spectrum? What happened at the beginning of the universe? Can we be aware of the atoms in our own bodies? In addition, Einstein’s Gift offers controversial answers to long-standing academic questions: What is the purpose of abstract art? Why is abstract art the dominant feature of the last 100 years of art? What is the function of consciousness? What is consciousness?

Einstein’s Gift is the fruition of over 17 years of shamanistic practice and academic study, earning the author a BFA in Fine Arts from the University of Arizona and an MA in Art Theory, History and Criticism from Prescott College. He has presented his theory of consciousness at the world renowned 2006, 2008 and 2010 Tucson Consciousness Conferences. He has over 14 years of Southwestern gallery showings where he talks about and introduces people to the idea that the power of abstract art is incredibly miscalculated.

Einstein’s Gift: The Engineering of Lucid Dreams offers readers interested in art, science and consciousness a highly compelling argument and jaw dropping lucid dream experiences. The book will be 55,000 words, contain a bibliography, photographic reproductions of 7-15 paintings. The manuscript and all required copyright clearance will be completed three to six months (or sooner) upon receipt of advance. Chapters 4-8 (of 11) are undergoing a professional edit. Chapters 1-3 will be attached to your request for my nonfiction book proposal.