Dec 23, 2010

Query- All Because of You (Fourth Revision)

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Dear [Agent Name],

Forced to commit murder in order to survive, Adelaide Banvard can’t rid herself of the demon in her mind. Faithful to the end, she’s stood at the side of Christian Wren, one of the most powerful men in Los Angeles and the only asset capable of keeping her violent tendencies at bay. For the past ten years, she’s been dedicated to his cause, the schizophrenic monster in her head enjoying every moment of pain delivered and every drop of blood on her hands as she grows eager to take control of her own life, one that doesn’t consist of orders and demands.

Her opportunity comes in the form of ATF Agent Marcus Grant, a man whose assignment is to apprehend Wren, the suspected leader behind one of the largest gunrunning operations California has ever seen. Adelaide’s loyalties are tested at every turn as she fights her way out of Wren’s organization, battles the illusions in her head, and tries to conceal the attraction she feels for the ATF agent who wants her for murder.

ALL BECAUSE OF YOU is suspenseful commercial fiction complete at 75,000 words. I have a degree from Utah Valley University in the field of Psychology, owning accurate knowledge on the subject of Schizophrenia. I have included [whatever they request] per your submission guidelines. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Dec 17, 2010

Query: Lizzie Brogan and The Broadway Ghost.

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Two months before Lizzie is to leave for Brooklyn to complete a project for her parents, her mother sends her Aunt Annie May's giant tramp steamer trunk and her theatrical trunk from The Belasco. Her instructions are to help Annie get to the stage door of the theatre by first call to meet her true love, Dan "Curley" O'Brien.

A simple task but for the fact Annie May, once a successful musical star on Broadway, has been dead for twenty-seven years.

Lizzie traveled the globe for years, trying to run away from herself. Once settled in Brooklyn, she begings to confront her past and her true feelings for James, her childhood sweetheart. While they begin to rebuild their burned bridges and Curley waits each night at the stage door of the Belasco Theatre, time is running out for Annie.

Lizzie must learn how to use her long dormant power of enchantment before her aunt is lost for eternity in the cold gray fog between two worlds and she is killed by three evil faires bent on capturing her soul and her gift.

Lizzie Brogan and The Broadway Ghost, a paranormal romance complete at 90,000 words attempts to pair two lovers in our world and reunite two lost lovers in the afterworld.

I have read your website and believe my work reflects the work of other authors you currently represent. A romance novel, what sets Lizzie apart is the theme of the New York City Broadway stage, the Bishop of Broadway himself and a glimpse of an afterworld where the show is always in rehersal and the lights never go out.


My mother carried me to the attic for years, at first holding me in her arms and then later, guiding me up the long circular staircase leading from the second floor hall.

She explained that what looked like a giant's suitcase was a trunk. She told me what it was called and as the late afternoon sun angled through the tiny dormer window above us, she opened its four compartments to show me its magical contents. "This was your Aunt Annie's trunk. She's an angel in heaven now, but she left this for you, Elizabeth."

She loved to tell me about my aunt's life as a Broadway star, read from newspapers and magazines and brought her to life for me. "This is the dress Aunt Annie wore the night she won a very big award, called the Toni."

My questions about her were endless. "If she left the trunk to me, why can't I have it in my bedroom?"

"You're still too young, Elizabeth."

"When I get older enough, can I wear her pretty dresses?"

"No dear, those dresses are for you to hold, not to wear."

I loved to play in the dark corners of the attic, peeking into the boxes of my sister's and brother's childhood keepsakes; an old prom dress that Moira had worn, my brother Michael's football uniform, trophies and photographs, dusty lamps and some old furniture. The attic was a child's playground, and being too young to play with my siblings, I dug through their treasures and imagined stories of them. None could compare to the treasures held in the giant trunk and no stories as fantastic as those of Annie May.

The first time I saw her, she was pale and gray, like smoke curling up from the corner of the room. I was six and went to the attic to play with my sister's pompoms. I walked slowly toward the corner of the room where the giant tramp steamer trunk sat, nestled under the cross beams of the roof.

I thought I saw her smile. "Hello?"

A clear image of a woman turned and waved, "Hello yourself, Elizabeth," and in an instant the smoke curled downward into the trunk and vanished.

Dec 15, 2010


Click here to read the original query.
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Dear [Agent's Name],

London, 1882.

Seven years ago, Emil Aleric and his sister were kidnapped by a man who called himself The Hatter. Emil survived. His sister didn't. So when he hears news of a serial killer ravaging London and leaving a note quoting Alice in Wonderland at each murder scene, Emil is convinced that his former abductor is on the prowl again. And when his young guardian, Officer Corwin James, is put in charge of the case, he thinks it must be fate.

Corwin's not too keen on Emil having anything to do with the case, but Emil's extensive knowledge of the murderer's methods is too invaluable to waste. Yet as the two get closer and closer to tracking the man down, Emil realizes exactly what confronting his past will mean. He can live with the nightmares. But if he fails to avenge his sister's death, he doesn't know how he'll live with himself-- if he lives at all.

Complete at 51,000 words, MAD AS A HATTER is a YA historical mystery written in both Emil and Corwin’s viewpoints. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely, etc.

Dec 8, 2010

Children's Picture Book Query

Ms. ________, Editor
Scholastic Press
557 Broadway
New York, NY 10012-3999

Dear ______ (will send to specific editor):

You may have read the news story on CNN or the Today Show. Or you may have read about it in the email that circled the globe: An orphaned squirrel was adopted by a dog who nursed him along with her own puppies.

Finnegan the Squirrel and the Dog Who Loved Him is the true story of an unusual adoption. Supported by interviews, photographs, and squirrel research, this 1040 word picture book is for children ages 5-10 years old.

Like Scholastic Press’ "Owen and Mzee," by Craig Hatkoff, this touching tale illustrates the extraordinary capacity for compassion and bonding in the animal world. It will also resonate with adopted children and their parents everywhere.

My writing credits include a picture book, Tree House in a Storm (Stemmer House Publishers, 2009), as well as written numerous fiction and nonfiction stories for Highlights, Scholastic Scope, and other children’s magazines.

Thank you for considering this 3-month exclusive submission. I look forward to hearing from you.


Rachelle Burk