Oct 20, 2010

Query - MY DEMONIC LOVE (First Revision)

Click here to read the original query.

Dear [Agent name],

Betrayed by her angelic lover, Dendera is punished to live out her days as an immortal in a mortal’s world. She has no demonic powers left and the Afterlife grows into a far memory as she searches for a way to become mortal, realizing the only person who can help her is the man who cost her everything.

Dendera finds she’s not strong enough to keep her distance from her now mortal angel, stalking Ryan in the shadows of New York City for his own protection. Emotions Dendera never experienced as a demon are running high at the idea of letting herself trust him again, but Ryan isn’t her only problem.

An evil far more ancient and violent is out for revenge and the only thing it wants from Dendera is the mortal man she’s protecting.

MY DEMONIC LOVE is a completed work of paranormal romance at 90-000 words. Enclosed I have included [whatever they want]. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Query: BITCH (working title:)

Dear super agent,


Its what the kids in high school call Lilly Parker. Dumping Keegan Williams earned her the title, but now that he has fled his abusive stepfather and sought refuge at her house, she hopes to shake the label.

But there's a kink in every plan and Lilly's got a whole knot of them.

He mother turns traitor and offers Keegan a permanent place to stay against Lilly's protests.

Keegan's renewed presence ignites old passions, but why shouldn't it? She didn't break up with him because of him. She loved Keegan. It was his stepfather she couldn't handle. So she moved on.

Despite her new boyfriend's frequent disappearances for work, she's falling in love with him. Explaining why her ex is staying with her isn't going to be fun and avoiding it isn't possible. Or so she thinks.

For Lilly, problems don't just evaporate when her boyfriend leaves town and Keegan goes to live with his grandmother, they condense down to one kidnapper waiting for her in her bedroom.

Alone and scared and locked in a cage, she will do anything to get her complicated life back. Even if it means losing both of the boys she loves and tattooing the word BITCH on her forehead. Too bad for her, things are never that easy.

BITCH is a 60,000-word young adult paranormal romance novel and available upon request.

Thank you for you consideration.


this is very rough. Give me what you have to pick about. I appreciate suggestions for fixes. Thanks in advance.