Jul 16, 2009

QUERY- BROKEN (new query)

A revision has been posted, click here to read it.

Dear [Agent X],

Madeline “Madd” Gunn is a fallen cop who knows where to find the best breaded steak sandwich in Chicago, how to fire a .45 without missing, and who murdered her kid sister.

After every lead on her sister’s case dries up, Madd quits the force and teams up with a group of well-connected vigilantes who hunt down violent criminals and arrange their deaths. When “The Protectors” hand Madd the name of her sister’s killer and an untraceable .45, she fires four bullets into his chest and watches him die.

There’s only one problem. She killed the wrong man.

Once a phone call confirms her worst fears, Madd knows that someone has set her up. But who? Now her name is on The Protectors’ hit list and finding her sister’s killer is only the beginning of her problems. She needs to live long enough to uncover the truth, and some very powerful people want her dead.

BROKEN is an 86, 127 word thriller about the irreversible consequences of revenge. My short stories have appeared in [redacted] and [redacted].

Thank you for your time.


Click here to read the sample pages.
A revision of this query has been posted, click here to read it.

I can handle large amounts of criticism. I'm just starting out writing and i am almost finished with my first novel. I have no ending paragraphs to my letter because I don't have any credentials or degree to mention - not sure what I should do with that?

Dear Mr. Agent,

I fell in love with your blog in my desperate need to learn as much as possible about writing a gold medal query letter. I am currently seeking representation for my Young Adult novel, UNTITLED, complete at 100,000 words.

Holly Flynn is a well respected English teacher and aspiring novelist married to her wonderful and attentive high school boyfriend. Her life is exactly as she always planned. That is until an old friend shows up at her door step handing over an item she hasn’t seen in ten years, her journal. Her eighteen year old self preserved in the form of a pink velvet notebook. As she opens the book, a photograph falls to the floor. A picture of herself embracing a mysterious boy who's face happens to be identical to the boy from her novel. A face she thought only existed in her fictional world. A face she’s devoted over 300 pages to.

After reading the journal she discovers her own written words tell a story different from the one she knows. Holly must decide to stay in the life she’s always known or to take a chance and leave everything behind. Is true love worth the pain? Her discoveries bring the conclusion that the world is much bigger than she ever imagined and the mystery surrounding the boy she loves is almost too much for any human to accept. The power to change the past is like playing God in a battle where right and wrong are not the only two sides competing.