May 3, 2010

QUERY- HAVEN

Dear Agent,

There are a lot of things Scar doesn’t believe in – magic, monsters, a passing grade in history. That all changes the night of her fifteenth birthday (well, except the passing history thing) when she finds out her whole life has been a lie. Told she isn’t human, she is taken to a world of nightmares, a boot camp designed to contain werewolves, witches and vampires (like they think she’s dangerous or something).

Now, in order to survive, she must learn that breaking a witch’s Frisbee can really piss him off, that challenging a werewolf to a foot race is a bad idea – especially if you want to live, that vampires hold serious grudges equipped with mean left hooks, and that sometimes the hardest secrets to keep are the most crucial.

But she has a secret. She is a Dhampir, part-human, part-other, masquerading as a vampire.

When students begin to disappear, Scar starts seeing visions of attacks. A found video places her at one of the crime scenes, turning her into the prime suspect, and now her very survival might be at stake. She must race to prove her innocence before her true nature is exposed.

The only problem is that she’s not entirely sure she’s innocent.

HAVEN is a 65,000-word YA urban fantasy novel. Included below arethe first ten pages. The complete manuscript is available upon your request.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely ...

Query for NEW BLOOD (repost, sorry left something out)

Click here to read the original query.

195 words. this is raw, and just the basis, none of the agent stuff. Hopefully I understood your advice well enough that I have answered all of your questions.


Being twenty years old, a student, and working; is just the start of things for a barely human girl, in a barely mortal world. Ianna was reincarnated, from an act of love driven by desperation. In her previous life as gypsy born of pure magic; she had cast a soul binding spell to bring her back and insure the survival of her soul mate, Damien; though his survival turned him into a vampire.

The vampire coven that had turned Damien is now hunting Ianna, in a fight to change destiny itself. Ianna loses her mortality when the coven tracks her down in a gruesome attack. Ianna’s death brings her new life as a New Blood, a freshly turned vampire. Though the coven will stop at nothing to destroy Ianna and her family, the war is just beginning.

Becoming a vampire has caused her nightmares to turn to visions that now curse Ianna; causing her to blackout every time she feeds. To make matters worse, Ianna seems to have lost an important piece of her humanity. Though her ability to love is strong; Ianna’s mercilessness for killing has her family worried at what she may become.

Query:Snap

Dear Mr./Ms. Agent,

Julia Turnbolt, couldn’t have predicted that she, her cheating soon to be ex-husband Jack, and their two teenage kids, would end up on a tour boat in the middle of the sea with modern day pirates ready to slit their throats. Sure, if you look at the past year, between finding Jack banging a nineteen year old bimbo, the murder of her best friend and of course Julia’s recent stint in rehab for her raging Oxycontin addiction, this new crock of crap kind of makes sense. But all that was supposed to be behind her when Chelsea, her daughter, won this all-inclusive trip for four to Thailand.
I mean come on, Julia’s used to slinging fries not fighting blood-thirsty thugs. So even though she can’t swim a stroke and the family’s chances of getting rescued are pretty much nil, Jacks plan for them all to board a flimsy dinghy and set adrift in the sea seems right. Days later when Julia’s way beyond regretting listening to Jack’s hair-brained plan, they find an uninhabited island. Lets face it, finding land after almost dying at sea seems like a step in the right direction, right? Nope, because their supposed sanctuary just happens to be the very same place where their former captors stash their booty. Now with the brutes just a breath away from finding the family’s makeshift camp and Jack laid out with a mysterious fever, Julia’s got one option, fight. Suddenly the new rules are, there aren’t any, and with everyone’s life on the line, doing whatever it takes, and that means whatever, suddenly seems like a pretty decent plan.
Snap is Contemporary Women's Fiction complete at about 80,000. I can be reached at the email address provided. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,Writer