Click  here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Ok, I have a revision.  I softened the opening statements by inserting  the word "feels" in ONE of the phrases but left it as-is in the other.   Let me know if it helps take the sting out.  I removed the ins. $$ and  tightened up the rest.  Here 'tis:
Dear [Agent], 
I  thought you would be interested in my book .
John  Douglas feels betrayed by God when his wife and child are killed in a  house fire. On a rampage against the Almighty and his old moral code,  John resists the incessant voice of the Lord whispering to his soul and  numbs his pain with alcohol.  But now the liquor isn’t enough to stave  off his torment. Thoughts of suicide are interrupted when he meets  April, a lookalike of his dead wife.  She names her price, and he throws  himself into the one-night fantasy.  Come morning the illusion is  shattered and John is assaulted by shame. Broken, he repents and finds  comfort and restoration in God.  
John is astounded by a second  chance at love when he meets church-going Jenni.  Their future together  promises to be a happily-ever-after, until April makes her way to John’s  doorstep claiming he is the father of her unborn child.  Now John  wrestles with his shameful past, Jenni faces insecurity and bitterness,  and April doesn’t know what to make of all the “God talk” going on.  For  John and Jenni, it will take incredible faith to follow God through  what is quickly becoming their darkest valley, but a willingness to  surrender all could save a soul in the process.
BEAUTY FOR ASHES  is a contemporary Christian novel standing at approximately 93,000  words. The full manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for your  time, I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Michelle  Massaro
Jul 2, 2010
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