Sep 8, 2009


Click here to read the original query.

Dear Agent:

Moriah Rowani returns from the elite school where she's been trained as a top-tier bounty hunter looking forward to spending time with the father who raised her alone. Instead, she finds him bleeding to death -- shot by the Chancellery guard found dead nearby. Her father's final words are, "find the diary."

Moriah is forced from her ancestral estate by the Lord Chancellor and his men, who are intent on one thing -- eradicating people with human and satyr or nymph parents. With the help of allies both in and out of the underground resistance, Moriah discovers that the diary, written by the mother who left her ten years ago, holds the secret to crippling the Lord Chancellor's hold on power and possibly pulling the city-state of Callarion from the hell it's become.

My steampunk fantasy novel, CALLARION AT NIGHT, is complete at 100,000 words. Thank you for taking the time to consider my submission.

NOT HER MOTHER'S FATE, revision 2.

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.

When Amy Thompson consented to have a big party for her twenty-first birthday, she didn’t expect to meet the man who would pursue her romantically until she relented, expose the most closely guarded secrets of her childhood, and inadvertently introduce her to the same choices her own mother must have faced. And when Robert Crane wins the heart of this reclusive beauty, he never dreams he’s set them on a path of self discovery that will end in redemption for one, tragedy for the other.

A survivor of years of abuse by her alcoholic father and two previous boyfriends, Amy thinks she has learned her lesson about the cost of a relationship with a drinking man. But Robert is not a typical, abusive alcoholic. Their friends think him impulsively charming, his parents and church believe marriage and family is the cure for his rebelliousness, and his best friend Calvin Mertz refuses to allow Robert to suffer the consequences of his alcoholic binges.

For a while, Amy is sure she can save Robert and, by extension, herself from the haunting memories of her childhood. She involves herself in Robert’s faith; she makes friends of his disapproving parents; and even excuses his occasional brutality as a product of his insecurities. The one thing she refuses to do is to marry Robert and produce the family he craves, the family everyone is sure will make a difference in his commitment to sobriety.

As the relationship progresses, and Robert’s alcoholism escalates, Amy becomes convinced that her own mother would not have married the brut her father eventually became if he didn‘t have some redeeming qualities. Though Robert still suffers the guilt of his actions, Amy is convinced that if she doesn’t leave him, before marriage and children bond them forever, she could also end up with her mothers fate: to die a supposedly accidental death at the hands of her drunken husband.

Not Her Mother’s Fate is a 90,000 word women’s fiction that tests the limits of friendship, love, and loyalty.


Donna Hole