Jan 19, 2010

DESOLATION Revision #1

Click here to read the original query.

Dear Secret Agent Man:

I believe you would be interested in my YA urban fantasy DESOLATION, complete at 84,000 words.

It’s time for the devil’s daughter to join the family business of ruining lives and stealing souls, but sixteen-year-old Desolation Black wants to be good.

Desi knows she’s part demon, but what she doesn’t know is that she’s also part angel. Raised by the Prince of Lies, she can’t imagine being anything other than what he demands. So when Desi’s caught in a power struggle for the throne of the Underworld, she makes a choice she thinks will free her from her demonic destiny—only to discover every good act ends in the very death and destruction she hoped to avoid.

With gifts and abilities yet undiscovered, Desi will never be a normal teenage girl. But she can be good—at a cost. With the help of angel and love-of-her-heart Michael, Lost Soul James, and good-girl Miri, Desi will fight the demons of hell and her own father for freedom of all people--including the right to choose for herself the kind of person she will be.

DESOLATION is a fast-paced story that mingles the edginess of Wicked Lovely and the vision of Hush, Hush to create it’s own dark love story at the end of the world.

If you would like to consider DESOLATION, I’ll happily forward the complete manuscript to you at your request. An outline for a potential sequel is also available.

Thank you for your time and consideration.


Ali Cross


Click here to read the original query.

Click here to read the first revision.

Dear Agent.

November 28th, 2012. As the Mayan Calendar draws to an end, the world is plunged into a global frenzy when news of an entity heading towards the planet is leaked. Mechanical equipment and technology begin to abruptly fail, triggering fears of an impending attack. In the ensuing chaos, The Continuity of Government Plan is implemented removing the President and his Cabinet from DC.

Howard Andersen, a political appointee, noted for his ability to “influence” policy, is unexpectedly appointed to head FEMA - most other senior members are presumed dead. He faces contempt and hostility from his boss, the Homeland Security Secretary who wants him out. Howard’s investigations swiftly allow him to conclude that the disasters affecting the planet are indeed linked to the approach of the craft.

The ship lands on Mars beside a mountain that eerily resembles a human face. Religious beliefs vie against military dogma. Is this a divine sign or the staging post for an invasion? Howard gambles that it is an invasion, and unconventional action by him prevents the military coalition formed to defend the planet from fracturing. But, it also gives his boss the leverage needed to oust him.

Back on the outside, Howard watches helplessly as an Al Qaeda detonates a bomb in Las Vegas, pulling everyone’s attention from the skies and back to earth. It prompts a severe response that swiftly pushes the planet towards nuclear warfare. To save lives, Howard will have to release the cynicism and bitterness within and embrace the good that is hidden deep within his soul.

THESE ARE THE END OF DAYS is a completed manuscript of 115,000 words. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Lenworth Wesley

Query- The Butterfly Key

Dear Agent,

I am respectfully seeking your representation for my novel, THE BUTTERFLY KEY, a 72,000-word work of literary fiction set within the small town of Columbus, Minnesota.

Devastated by the recent miscarriage of her baby and inundated by a constant, never-ending crush of emotions, Nicole Kuefler is embroiled in an agonizing conflict against God and his so-called providence, and regrettably, the people who love her the most – her husband and three daughters – are caught in the crossfire.

Upon reaching her breaking point on Christmas Eve, Nicole is losing her battle. With her soul fractured like a broken pane of glass, she is unable to stop the brutal despair seeping in through the cracks. Moreover, her seemingly indelible faith is at risk of erosion.

Determined to mend the shards of his wife’s shattered soul, Nicole’s husband, Drew, gathers the family together around the Christmas tree. Guided by something he could only consider extraordinary, Drew narrates to his wife and children the emotional tale of a young couple who promise each other a family, but find themselves struggling amidst the providence of God.

This is their heartrending story.

Christian Bryson is no stranger to tragedy. His mother died shortly after childbirth, his father is losing his battle to cancer. Therefore, when Abigail, his wife, discovers she is pregnant, she decides to keep it a secret from him.

Why? Because Abigail is trying to protect Christian as he deploys for war.

Unfortunately, when another terrible tragedy befalls Christian, the consequence of Abigail not telling him about her pregnancy threatens to devastate their marriage. Now Abigail must grapple with the stark realization that her husband may never come home.

When Drew finishes his story, he is still unsure if Nicole can find it in her heart to forgive God. That is until a special gift under the Christmas tree changes everything.