Oct 26, 2010

The End Begins - Fifth Revision

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Click here to read the fourth revision.

Dear Agent of my Dreams,

Out of a closed community of the Magic Academy of the Nine, the newest evolution of Man proceeds. But Raiana Draco, one of their top students, discovered its plot to use students as a means to power a warring nations’ fleet. Her punishment? She’s signed up to be made into a battery. But thanks to the loving instructor she escaped into a fractured United States.

Hunted by the academy and its ally, The Coalition of United Territories, in a world nearly devoid of magic, she must survive a science driven society by soliciting her services to a military union who wages a secret war against them.

With war already in motion, she quickly gains her commander’s trust and is assigned to a special team to protect the countries last stockpile of vital resources.

But not all is what it seems.

Rai and her company must traverse the hostile territory as they are pushed to their limits by fatigue, persecution, and misled by a traitorous mind. But the wolf among their sheep discovers his union’s details about the stockade. An emergency wormhole device designed to retrieve other agents of war from alternate worlds.

The C.U.T. need their homegrown batteries to make it work. And only her father has the answers for them to stop them.

The traitor leads to the companies escape and advance on their mission, but they must remain vigilant. They race against time and decaying moral, unsure what awaits them at the end of their road: salvation or destruction.

THE END BEGINS is a Science Fiction story at 90,000 words.

Possessed - Fourth Revision

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the scond revision.
Click here to read the third revision.
Dear Agent,

Nineteen year-old Gabriel is not supposed to remember who he is or what he has done. But the White Horizon Research Center's pyschological experiment fails.

Everything that Gabriel thought was real turns out to be a product of radiation, electrodes, and drugs – including his identity as a young midshipman in the Napoleonic War.

It doesn’t help when the angry voices of the high school jocks he murdered five years ago return.

They want revenge. He hates himself for what he did to them.

Locked in a debriefing room, Gabriel and two other patients overhear the doctors make the decision to kill them and terminate their illegal project. Gabriel discovers that his troubled cousin has already escaped in a violent rage. The experiments drove her insane. They find a way out of the facility, but Gabriel`s cousin stalks them. She wants to kill them.

Gabriel will have to find a way to keep himself - and his new friends - alive without harming his cousin. But there is nothing that can save him from the afterlife. Everyone knows that there is no way out of eternal damnation for a cold blooded killer.

Possessed is a young adult supernatural thriller with a word count of 56,000 words.

Thank you very much for your time and consideration of my work.


Sara Kjeldsen