Aug 18, 2009

Query-The Eternal Link (Versions 6 and 7)

NOTE: There are two versions of the query in this post, the author would like feedback on which one you prefer.

Version 6 (I hope I got it right this time and didn't ruin it by putting in some voice.)

Sixteen-year-old Catalina returns to the 31st century after searching through the past for her mother to find pieces of that ancient time came back with her. Now she is stuck in a world where the magical past and the high-tech present are merging at an alarming rate…and it’s pretty much all her fault.

After discovering she is an eternal, Catalina puts her quest for the birth-mother she never knew on hold to fulfill her newfound duties as a keeper of time. But control of her swiftly growing magic lies just beyond her reach and she can’t to fix time alone. Instead, she seeks the aid of old eternal who just might be able to stop the time blend before an army of united dark magic and high-tech soldiers destroy everything in pursuit of her immortality.

Time is literally running out before the world erases completely, and Catalina must choose between holding onto her hopes of a life with her real mother or accept her responsibility to return time to its proper state. On the plus side, there will be no more laser guns pointed at her head or souls suckers poised at her door. But a restored timeline means nothing will be left of her Catalina’s friends, her mother, or the boy she has come to love but two-thousand year old memories.

The Eternal Link is a young adult fantasy novel completed at 80,000 words.

Version 7

After searching through the past for her mother, sixteen-year-old Catalina returns to the 31st century only to find pieces of that ancient time came back with her. Now she is stuck in a world where the magical past and the high-tech present are merging at an alarming rate…and it’s pretty much all her fault.

Catalina puts the quest for her birth-mother on hold to try and mend her mistake. But she can’t fix time alone. Instead, she seeks the aid of an old eternal who just might be able to stop the time blend before an army of united dark magic and high-tech soldiers destroy everything she cares about to get to her. Time is literally running out before the world erases completely, and Catalina must choose between holding onto her hopes of a life with her real mother or accept her responsibility to return time to its proper state. On the plus side, she’ll get rid of those instigating the hunt for her immortality. But a restored timeline means nothing will be left of Catalina’s friends, her mother, or the boy she has come to love but two-thousand year old memories.

The Eternal Link is a young adult fantasy novel completed at 80,000 words.

Synopsis-The Eternal Link (Version 2)

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I worked on this a lot, so I hope it's better this time! (it's definitely a more manageable length) For reference The Eternal Link is an 80,000-word YA fantasy. Any help is appreciated!

It's 3031 CE in the city of Ulcadia. Fifteen-year old Catalina Cordova, late to class and feeling ill, rushes past the students popping in and out of transporters. Her heartbeat drums loudly in her head and she stops, half-leaning against the cool wall of the hallway. She feels a flush and, without warning, flames pour out from her eyes, turning the hall orange and sending students screaming. When her vision clears, her headache is gone and she remembers her best friend lying on the floor, her skin charred and ice leaking in a puddle below her.

Catalina doesn't know what happened, and neither does anyone else. Her adoptive parents yank her out of school, back to the decaying house she once called home. But her parents' mindless chants to Mother Nature won't bring back Catalina's friend, and she's worried fire might burst out of her again at any time. And ever since the accident Catalina’s been having more dreams-haunting dreams of a birthmother that fills her with images of love and acceptance. If anyone would have answers, it would be her birthmother.

While searching for her mother, Catalina is beckoned through a painting come to life with promises of answers in the world beyond its frame. She is thrust back thousands of years in time where she loses control of her fire in a battle with a demonic creature. Her fire burns the surrounding trees and sends a signal above the forest. From above, a flying stranger brings a soothing rain that sizzles against Catalina’s skin and, despite her protests; he rescues her.

When Catalina wakes up, she butts heads with her irritating, yet surprisingly intriguing savior, Darwin, who acts more like a boy than the man he is. But he leaves and Catalina is kidnapped by followers of a man, Valmont, who lusts after her power and the immortality that comes with it. She barely escapes with the help of Valmont’s jealous fiancĂ© and washes up on a beach where an old wizard she almost recognizes finds her.

The familiar wizard, Warwick, exudes a strange sense of safety that is solidified when Catalina accidentally enters his mind. He knows her and, maybe, he knows her mother as well. Back at Warwick’s castle-home she bumps into Darwin. He kisses her then forces her back to where she started in 3031 CE just as her mother rushes to her. Catalina is fueled by anger from watching her mother slip away again and her powers grow. The trees see this and recognize the marks of an eternal, a keeper of time. But that’s just the problem…the trees SEE.

Awakened after thousands of years, the trees tell Catalina that as an eternal, it is her job to protect time. Due to a rift, at any given moment, pieces of the past come crashing into Catalina’s present. The trees urge her to seek the help of he who failed before her as an eternal: Warwick. But before he can help, Warwick’s powers must be restored by reuniting him with his true love.

Catalina follows clues from her vivid dreams that guide her through the ever-changing landscape affected by time jumps. They lead her to outwit the fairies in their labyrinth, across the mountains where demons roam, through the roots of elvin trees, and finally into the sea with a siren. Deep into the ocean, in a cottage untouchable by magic, Catalina finds Warwick’s love but on her way back, she is pulled into Valmont’s mind. Through his eyes, Catalina watches him raise an army of soul-sucking demons and high-tech armies alike. Through his body, Catalina feels the elation that wipes over him as he murders the people she cares about.

Catalina is driven by these images to fight Valmont herself. There is no time to wait for Warwick’s powers to strengthen. At the castle that popped up out of nowhere, Catalina finds not only Darwin waiting as pompous and handsome as ever, but also the woman she so desperately wanted to find: Her mother. With her mother by her side, Catalina and her army march forward into the great domed city of Ulcadia to fight Valmont head-on. In the midst of battle, Catalina meets Valmont and transports them both into the fourth dimension. The voices of those she loves swirl in her head and she gains the strength to annihilate Valmont. Instead, she leaves him in the fourth dimension to rot while she fights her way down into the stream of time.

Through Catalina, time slowly heals, but she realizes she will lose everything when it is restored to its proper state. She cries as she hangs like a puppet on a string while clinging to the image of her half-dissolved mother. Just when she makes the decision to sacrifice herself and become a human patch for time, a new force enters the fourth dimension. A powerful Warwick takes Catalina’s place and tells her she can either return to earth as the eternal or she can go with Mother Nature and be at peace. If she dies, a child will have to take her place. So, as Warwick fuses with time, Catalina spirals down to earth to be caught by none other than the boy behind the magic portrait, her painter, Darwin.