Apr 20, 2009

Query - Quest Support (First Revision)

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the second revision.

Dear (Agent Name),

An Ancient Evil has arisen, but a Cryptic Prophecy speaks of a Young Boy who will wield a Mystic Sword and defeat it. Gilbert Gaberlunzie has seen this tired old plot play out more times than he can count. Gilbert works at Quest Support, a call center that provides assistance to Heroes, Villains, and anyone else involved in Quests. Even though he’s sure he’d make a better adventurer than any of the idiots who call him, Gilbert is satisfied where he is. He loves…well, tolerates his job, and wants nothing more than to sit in his cubicle and drink coffee.

Things don’t work out quite that way. When Gilbert accidentally gets an extra-stupid Hero killed during the Final Battle with the Dark Lord, he puts the whole world in peril and loses his job to boot. Since his knowledge of fantasy clichés isn’t good for much else, Gilbert decides to defeat the Dark Lord himself and set things right. After doing interviews for party members and appropriating some malfunctioning magical artifacts from his ex-employer, Gilbert sets off on a journey down the well-trodden paths of fantasydom. His feet may hurt and he may be hopeless with a sword, but Gilbert is sure he’s ready for anything the genre throws at him, whether it’s elves, goblins, an oracle, or those giant spiders that always live in caves. But can he handle the inevitable Plot Twist?

QUEST SUPPORT is complete at 94,000 words. It is a lighthearted fantasy that pokes some good-natured fun at the genre’s clichés and refuses to take itself seriously. It will appeal to readers looking for a quirky spin on a familiar formula, or anyone who’s ever wondered when Heroes wash their socks.

Thank you for your consideration,



Seventeen-year-old Jack Creed is unhappy as a vampire. He would give anything to have his old life back. After a werewolf attack, it seems he's gotten his wish. He's human again. Now his problems really begin.

His high school english teacher is the head werewolf; the girl he's seriously crushing on is a hunter with secrets; his brother can't make up his mind if he should welcome Jack home or stake him through the heart to be on the safe side. Then Jack starts to regain some of his vampire powers. Also, he's developing new werewolf powers.

Jack just wants to be normal. He wants to graduate from high school and leave the werewolf killing to others, but everyone he knows is in danger. In the end Jack will have to make a hard choice between what he wants, what's good for him, and what is good for the people he loves.

Vampires Rule is complete at 73,000 words.


A revision of this query has been posted. Click here to read it.

Dear Agent:

I graduated from The University of Texas in May of 1997 with a degree in journalism. While at the university, several of my articles received The Almay Award for Excellence in Journalism.

I chose to submit my novel for your consideration after seeing that you had interest in this particular genre, especially after you pointed out that Robert Pierce's novel, The Escape, was one of your favorite reads. Did I not only read the book, but also found it similar to mine in that it shows the struggles of a young man trying to escape the horrors of an abusive past.

The Release

While spending seven years in a Texas sanatorium for re-enacting the physical abuse he received as a child on a peer of fifteen years of age, John Michaels finds his escape. John realized that inner strength, his mind, would convince the good Dr. Holt to okay his release.

John, a ruggedly handsome man with smooth black hair, fashionable stubble, and a chiseled six foot three inch frame is not out of the sanatorium for twenty-four hours before his life becomes extremely complicated. He finds himself tightly wrapped in lust, having dinner given by the beautiful Karen Weeks, being accused of murder, befriending a court appointed defense attorney, rescued from the Texas death penalty by witty Richard, a private detective extraordinaire, and falling in love with Delaney, a bookstore clerk.

John's inner release does not become final until he visits the graves of his alcoholic father and drug addicted mother. John is able to get the answers and let go pent up feelings that need their escape. John's will to seek a better life comes to fruition.

Upon request, I am prepared to send the completed manuscript.

Thank you for taking the time to consider representing my work. I look forward to hearing from you.


Joshua Kearns