Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the second version
(so, I listened to the comments (after I cried) and I have taken the wonderful advice given to me to heart and I think I'm getting closer to explaining my epic (read too-long) book. I'm chopping the novel also, so I don't know how many words it will be in the end. Thank you all for your wonderful coments and for helping make me a better queriest! - Natalie)
Dear Mr/Ms. Agent:
When Earth gets caught in the middle of a battle for the universe between the Mages and the dark fey, two teens are forced to work together and use their elemental powers to save everyone. But first, can they save a clan of dragons in the midst of war?
Jack and Katie were chosen before birth to be the saviors of the universe. The Mages imbued elemental powers into their embryos, designing them to work together as a team. Katie would be able to control the weather and water while Jack would have power over earth and fire. The plan was to raise the chosen ones together and train them to work as a team from birth. But that was before the dark fey found a way to Earth.
Fearing for their lives, Jack’s parents take him into hiding. When a car crash kills them two years later, Jack is left orphaned without any idea of his destiny.
Katie is taken home with her parents where they raise her as a normal "human" child. She attends school with her peers. She helps around the farm. She even plays with her brothers. Until the fey find her and attempt to kill her and her family. Katie's mage protector teleports her to a distant planet to hide her from the fey, where she discovers dragons are alive and thriving, but need her help to save their hatchlings.
Now the Mages have to find Jack before the dark fey do and reunite the chosen ones in time to train them to save the universe from annihilation. Unfortunately, Katie and Jack have other plans in mind.
The Chosen Ones and the Dragon War is an 80,000-word work of fantasy intended for young adults. This is our first novel. Please find enclosed the first five pages, pursuant to your submission guidelines.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Natalie and Rick
(email)
(phone number)
Sep 11, 2009
Short Story Writing Contest
The Literary Lab just announced a short story writing contest!
The deadline for submissions is December 1, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. PST, so you have plenty of time to polish up your best 1,000-2,000 word short story (or write a new one).
Details are posted here.
The Lab will be awarding prizes, and all genres of fiction are invited to submit.
I know am going to submit, and I think it would be awesome to see some of the Slushpile regulars among the winning entries, I know there are a lot of talented writers following this blog. Here's a chance to show off your chops!
The deadline for submissions is December 1, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. PST, so you have plenty of time to polish up your best 1,000-2,000 word short story (or write a new one).
Details are posted here.
The Lab will be awarding prizes, and all genres of fiction are invited to submit.
I know am going to submit, and I think it would be awesome to see some of the Slushpile regulars among the winning entries, I know there are a lot of talented writers following this blog. Here's a chance to show off your chops!
QUERY: NOT HER MOTHER'S FATE Revision 3
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
A survivor of years of abuse by her alcoholic father and two previous boyfriends, Amy Thompson believes she has learned her lesson about the cost of a relationship with a drinking man. But Robert Crane won’t take no for an answer. After weeks of persistence, and a commitment to sobriety, he wins Amy’s heart.
It doesn’t take long for the couple to feel the pressure from Robert’s family and church to marry, and though Robert is eager for a family of his own, Amy still has nightmares about the trauma of her own childhood and the "accidental" death of her mother. One solid year’s sobriety is Amy’s price, but no matter how much Robert prays, or how many sacrifices Amy and his best friend Calvin Mertz make for him, his own insecurities drive Robert repeatedly back to the bottle.
As Robert’s alcoholism and brutality escalates, Amy becomes convinced that she has two choices: abandon Robert and try to rebuild the hard-won independence she’d gained before she met him, or make the ultimate commitment and hope that marriage and family is truly the cure for his alcoholism. Before Amy can make a decision, a new option opens in the form of a long, passionate kiss from Cal.
Not Her Mother’s Fate is a 90,000 word women’s fiction about testing the limits of friendship, love, and loyalty.
Sincerely,
Donna Hole
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
A survivor of years of abuse by her alcoholic father and two previous boyfriends, Amy Thompson believes she has learned her lesson about the cost of a relationship with a drinking man. But Robert Crane won’t take no for an answer. After weeks of persistence, and a commitment to sobriety, he wins Amy’s heart.
It doesn’t take long for the couple to feel the pressure from Robert’s family and church to marry, and though Robert is eager for a family of his own, Amy still has nightmares about the trauma of her own childhood and the "accidental" death of her mother. One solid year’s sobriety is Amy’s price, but no matter how much Robert prays, or how many sacrifices Amy and his best friend Calvin Mertz make for him, his own insecurities drive Robert repeatedly back to the bottle.
As Robert’s alcoholism and brutality escalates, Amy becomes convinced that she has two choices: abandon Robert and try to rebuild the hard-won independence she’d gained before she met him, or make the ultimate commitment and hope that marriage and family is truly the cure for his alcoholism. Before Amy can make a decision, a new option opens in the form of a long, passionate kiss from Cal.
Not Her Mother’s Fate is a 90,000 word women’s fiction about testing the limits of friendship, love, and loyalty.
Sincerely,
Donna Hole
La Dame D'Or - 1st Revision
Click here to read the original query.
I am seeking representation for my work of commercial fiction La Dame D’Or. It is complete at 90,000 words.
Knowledge is power. Sometimes enough will get you killed. Eleanor Lyons isn’t aware she harbors any knowledge of the deadly sort until the handsome and elusive Connor Stevens tracks her down. His dogged interest in the subject of her discarded doctoral thesis, which includes the resting place of an ancient chest of medallions, immediately raises her hackles.
A history professor who jealously guards her personal life, Eleanor Lyons is terrifically unprepared to deal with Connor’s world, a place full of hired killers, personal vendettas, and treasure hunting. She tries convincing Connor Stevens her thesis is nothing more than an interesting myth. That might have worked, too, if Connor Stevens turned out to be her biggest problem.
A man as bloodthirsty as he is relentless, Jonathan Dubois believes the medallions belong to him by birth. Connor has witnessed Jonthan’s willingness to kill in order to obtain them and has vowed to beat him to the punch. The two men, nurturing a decade long hatred for one another, will stop at nothing to be the first to claim the medallions. Eleanor’s knowledge has landed her not only in the middle of the men’s struggle against each other, but between them and their ultimate prize. It is a deadly place to be.
As she reveals a tale that travels through time, beginning in ancient Rome and ending on a nineteeth century shipwreck, Eleanor won't give up until she finds a way to save herself and her friends. Also reminded of the passion she once felt for the medallions themselves, she forms an electric, though uneasy, alliance with Connor in order to beat Jonathan to the treasure. If they can be the first to find La Dame D’or and her sunken treasure, she might be able to reclaim her quiet life. That is, if she still wants it.
I have a bachelor’s degree in Radio-TV-Film from Texas Christian University where I polished a talent for vivid and succinct writing. I am currently working towards a Master’s degree in Ancient History at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, which has instilled in me a passion for the past that is instrumental in bringing this plot to life. Thank you for your time and consideration.
I am seeking representation for my work of commercial fiction La Dame D’Or. It is complete at 90,000 words.
Knowledge is power. Sometimes enough will get you killed. Eleanor Lyons isn’t aware she harbors any knowledge of the deadly sort until the handsome and elusive Connor Stevens tracks her down. His dogged interest in the subject of her discarded doctoral thesis, which includes the resting place of an ancient chest of medallions, immediately raises her hackles.
A history professor who jealously guards her personal life, Eleanor Lyons is terrifically unprepared to deal with Connor’s world, a place full of hired killers, personal vendettas, and treasure hunting. She tries convincing Connor Stevens her thesis is nothing more than an interesting myth. That might have worked, too, if Connor Stevens turned out to be her biggest problem.
A man as bloodthirsty as he is relentless, Jonathan Dubois believes the medallions belong to him by birth. Connor has witnessed Jonthan’s willingness to kill in order to obtain them and has vowed to beat him to the punch. The two men, nurturing a decade long hatred for one another, will stop at nothing to be the first to claim the medallions. Eleanor’s knowledge has landed her not only in the middle of the men’s struggle against each other, but between them and their ultimate prize. It is a deadly place to be.
As she reveals a tale that travels through time, beginning in ancient Rome and ending on a nineteeth century shipwreck, Eleanor won't give up until she finds a way to save herself and her friends. Also reminded of the passion she once felt for the medallions themselves, she forms an electric, though uneasy, alliance with Connor in order to beat Jonathan to the treasure. If they can be the first to find La Dame D’or and her sunken treasure, she might be able to reclaim her quiet life. That is, if she still wants it.
I have a bachelor’s degree in Radio-TV-Film from Texas Christian University where I polished a talent for vivid and succinct writing. I am currently working towards a Master’s degree in Ancient History at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, which has instilled in me a passion for the past that is instrumental in bringing this plot to life. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sep 10, 2009
Query: Ready or Not
Dear Agent:
Yeah, Katherine missed birth control pills in the past, but she never got a freakin' plus sign on her pregnancy test! Now she has to decide how to deal with Nate, her boyfriend of four years who she doesn't really even like. And she is clueless about what to do with these unexpected feelings for Brandon, the ladies man of the payroll office where she works.
Katherine and Nate have had a tumultuous relationship, but because every other man (including her father) ditched her after a few months of her company, she finds it impossible and impractical to leave him—even though Brandon persistently tries to convince her otherwise.
After the baby is born, postpartum depression sets in. Katherine worries about harming her baby, develops an obsession with Vicodin, and struggles with a nagging feeling that Nate is cheating on her. Nate, unable to cope with Katherine's unpredictable emotions, takes off five weeks after the baby is born.
Katherine is convinced that Nate left because of the weight she gained during pregnancy and can only find comfort in skipping meals—not that she's anorexic or anything! Oh, she also develops a nasty habit of sleeping with strange men—anything to not be alone. She can only turn her life around with the help of the man who never loved her enough and the man who never got a chance to love her.
Ready or Not, complete at 96,000 words, is a work of women's fiction. Please contact me if you're interested in seeing my novel. Thank you for your consideration.
Yeah, Katherine missed birth control pills in the past, but she never got a freakin' plus sign on her pregnancy test! Now she has to decide how to deal with Nate, her boyfriend of four years who she doesn't really even like. And she is clueless about what to do with these unexpected feelings for Brandon, the ladies man of the payroll office where she works.
Katherine and Nate have had a tumultuous relationship, but because every other man (including her father) ditched her after a few months of her company, she finds it impossible and impractical to leave him—even though Brandon persistently tries to convince her otherwise.
After the baby is born, postpartum depression sets in. Katherine worries about harming her baby, develops an obsession with Vicodin, and struggles with a nagging feeling that Nate is cheating on her. Nate, unable to cope with Katherine's unpredictable emotions, takes off five weeks after the baby is born.
Katherine is convinced that Nate left because of the weight she gained during pregnancy and can only find comfort in skipping meals—not that she's anorexic or anything! Oh, she also develops a nasty habit of sleeping with strange men—anything to not be alone. She can only turn her life around with the help of the man who never loved her enough and the man who never got a chance to love her.
Ready or Not, complete at 96,000 words, is a work of women's fiction. Please contact me if you're interested in seeing my novel. Thank you for your consideration.
QUERY: RABBIT AND COUGAR
Dear Agent,
Seventeen-year-old Bolt had nothing to do with the king’s death, but who would take his word for it? He has no connections, no family. His very arrival in the kingdom of Byrony was so strange that he had to register as a possibly-dangerous Mystical Waif - making it easy for an enemy to accuse him of the royal murder. Now Bolt has fled into the forest south of Byrony, running for his life.
Rabbit has lived in his secluded village for three hundred and twenty-one years - making him, as a forest elf, about sixteen. He’s never even seen a human before the bold and capable, if curiously defensive, young adventurer who calls himself Cougar. Intrigued, Rabbit decides that he wants to see the world - and what better way than to tag along on Cougar’s travels?
With Byrony’s Royal Soldiers on his trail, “Cougar” can’t afford to waste time. When even the truth of his dangerous journey doesn’t discourage the adventure-hungry Rabbit, Cougar must accept a companion on his trek across the continent to the safe kingdom of Farewon. With the help of a fast-talking fop and an abandoned fox kit, both of whom are more than they seem, Rabbit and Cougar dodge werewolves, goblins, and the Royal Soldiers, becoming friends along the way. But when they reach Farewon, it holds not the safety Cougar expected, but some clues to his own mysterious roots - and more adventure than Rabbit could have asked for.
The YA fantasy novel RABBIT AND COUGAR, about 72,000 words, alternates chapters between the viewpoints of streetwise Cougar and smart-but-naive Rabbit. Its humor and whimsy will appeal to fans of Diana Wynne Jones and Patricia C. Wrede.
I have published short works of humorous fantasy in Spindle and Renard’s Menagerie, and am a member of the James River Writers.
Enclosed is (whatever material you want). I look forward to your response.
Thank you for your time,
Anica Lewis
Seventeen-year-old Bolt had nothing to do with the king’s death, but who would take his word for it? He has no connections, no family. His very arrival in the kingdom of Byrony was so strange that he had to register as a possibly-dangerous Mystical Waif - making it easy for an enemy to accuse him of the royal murder. Now Bolt has fled into the forest south of Byrony, running for his life.
Rabbit has lived in his secluded village for three hundred and twenty-one years - making him, as a forest elf, about sixteen. He’s never even seen a human before the bold and capable, if curiously defensive, young adventurer who calls himself Cougar. Intrigued, Rabbit decides that he wants to see the world - and what better way than to tag along on Cougar’s travels?
With Byrony’s Royal Soldiers on his trail, “Cougar” can’t afford to waste time. When even the truth of his dangerous journey doesn’t discourage the adventure-hungry Rabbit, Cougar must accept a companion on his trek across the continent to the safe kingdom of Farewon. With the help of a fast-talking fop and an abandoned fox kit, both of whom are more than they seem, Rabbit and Cougar dodge werewolves, goblins, and the Royal Soldiers, becoming friends along the way. But when they reach Farewon, it holds not the safety Cougar expected, but some clues to his own mysterious roots - and more adventure than Rabbit could have asked for.
The YA fantasy novel RABBIT AND COUGAR, about 72,000 words, alternates chapters between the viewpoints of streetwise Cougar and smart-but-naive Rabbit. Its humor and whimsy will appeal to fans of Diana Wynne Jones and Patricia C. Wrede.
I have published short works of humorous fantasy in Spindle and Renard’s Menagerie, and am a member of the James River Writers.
Enclosed is (whatever material you want). I look forward to your response.
Thank you for your time,
Anica Lewis
Sep 9, 2009
Successful Query!
This is a follow up to the post earlier today about the writer who got "the call."
From Natalie Bahm:
Someone asked if I could post the query that worked so here it is. I actually had two fairly different queries that received requests but this was the one I sent to the agent that offered representation.
Dear Agent:
When eleven-year-old Ally discovers the neighborhood boys are digging a tunnel to an abandoned steel mill she is faced with a dilemma. Should she join them and help dig to the mysterious and seriously off-limits steel mill while spending time with the sixth grade heartthrob Paul, or should she tell her parents, end the boys’ fun, but save them from the accident that’s bound to happen?
Ally decides to join the boys in hopes her involvement can push them to make the tunnel safer. She initiates the building of supports and then helps dig for months (with many adventures on the way) before she and the boys finally break through to the steel mill.
But when two notorious bank robbers known as the Gauze Men find the tunnel and discover where it leads, they decide to use it to get to the perfect hideout- miles of industrial buildings surrounded by a fifteen foot fence, that no one has been inside for twenty years… no one but all the neighborhood boys and Ally. When Ally and Paul get trapped inside the mill with the Gauze Men, they must escape and get help.
Underground is my first novel. It is written for a middle grade audience and is complete at about 33,000 words.
I’d be happy to send you sample pages or the complete manuscript if you are interested. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Natalie Bahm
It's not the best query ever but I think it did a fairly decent job of describing the story in a way that might make agents interested to read it.
With this query I received 3 requests for full manuscripts out of about 15 query submissions. I actually felt the second query I wrote was much stronger than this one, but it had a smaller request request rate (about 1 in 10, instead of 1 in 5).
Some of the best advice I read about query writing came from this blog: http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/2009/04/how-to-put-it-together-into-one-neat.html
Hopefully something in here will be useful. Don't feel like you need to post the whole muddle. (Or any of it for that matter :) Thanks again.
NOTE: I posted the whole muddle ;-)
From Natalie Bahm:
Someone asked if I could post the query that worked so here it is. I actually had two fairly different queries that received requests but this was the one I sent to the agent that offered representation.
Dear Agent:
When eleven-year-old Ally discovers the neighborhood boys are digging a tunnel to an abandoned steel mill she is faced with a dilemma. Should she join them and help dig to the mysterious and seriously off-limits steel mill while spending time with the sixth grade heartthrob Paul, or should she tell her parents, end the boys’ fun, but save them from the accident that’s bound to happen?
Ally decides to join the boys in hopes her involvement can push them to make the tunnel safer. She initiates the building of supports and then helps dig for months (with many adventures on the way) before she and the boys finally break through to the steel mill.
But when two notorious bank robbers known as the Gauze Men find the tunnel and discover where it leads, they decide to use it to get to the perfect hideout- miles of industrial buildings surrounded by a fifteen foot fence, that no one has been inside for twenty years… no one but all the neighborhood boys and Ally. When Ally and Paul get trapped inside the mill with the Gauze Men, they must escape and get help.
Underground is my first novel. It is written for a middle grade audience and is complete at about 33,000 words.
I’d be happy to send you sample pages or the complete manuscript if you are interested. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Natalie Bahm
It's not the best query ever but I think it did a fairly decent job of describing the story in a way that might make agents interested to read it.
With this query I received 3 requests for full manuscripts out of about 15 query submissions. I actually felt the second query I wrote was much stronger than this one, but it had a smaller request request rate (about 1 in 10, instead of 1 in 5).
Some of the best advice I read about query writing came from this blog: http://edittorrent.blogspot.com/2009/04/how-to-put-it-together-into-one-neat.html
Hopefully something in here will be useful. Don't feel like you need to post the whole muddle. (Or any of it for that matter :) Thanks again.
NOTE: I posted the whole muddle ;-)
THE SECOND CHANCE (2nd revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Okay - first, thank you to everyone who has been helping me work with this query. I feel like it is getting better each time I post it.
Dear Agent:
In an attempt to redeem his past, Jerry learns two things: the woman he loves is dead and when she left him seven years ago, she was pregnant.
With the help of a teacher named Amy, Jerry meets his son, Jake. They look alike but Jake inherited something from his mother – the disease that took her life.
Jerry falls in love with Amy and learns to become a father and just as everything appears to be normal, it all changes on the same day that Jerry is going to propose to Amy and Amy is going to announce her pregnancy.
Jake’s disease takes over and with his life in the balance and Jerry’s emotions tested again he must find strength within himself to hold on to his second chance.
THE SECOND CHANCE is a 67,000 word novel that encompasses a personal journey that most of us take at lease once in our lives.
My short stories have appeared in such publications as The Pike Press, Bright Light Café, and the Cynic Online Magazine.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Jim Wisneski
Click here to read the first revision.
Okay - first, thank you to everyone who has been helping me work with this query. I feel like it is getting better each time I post it.
Dear Agent:
In an attempt to redeem his past, Jerry learns two things: the woman he loves is dead and when she left him seven years ago, she was pregnant.
With the help of a teacher named Amy, Jerry meets his son, Jake. They look alike but Jake inherited something from his mother – the disease that took her life.
Jerry falls in love with Amy and learns to become a father and just as everything appears to be normal, it all changes on the same day that Jerry is going to propose to Amy and Amy is going to announce her pregnancy.
Jake’s disease takes over and with his life in the balance and Jerry’s emotions tested again he must find strength within himself to hold on to his second chance.
THE SECOND CHANCE is a 67,000 word novel that encompasses a personal journey that most of us take at lease once in our lives.
My short stories have appeared in such publications as The Pike Press, Bright Light Café, and the Cynic Online Magazine.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Jim Wisneski
A Writer Gets "The Call"
This just came in through the submissions post, I thought I would share it. Click here to read the query that was posted for Underground (although it isn't the final version that yielded The Call), and I extend the thanks to everyone who offers their feedback on any query on this site:
I posted my query months ago, just after you set up the blog. I never reposted but I did revise the query and first five pages (about a hundred times :) based on some of the suggestions you and others gave me. I just wanted to say thank you for keeping up this blog. I am sure it is a lot of work for you, but it is a great service for writers.
I got "The Call" last week and I'm sure it never would have happened without the help of other writers who gave their time to help my manuscript and query be the best it could be. Hopefully I can repay some of the kindness.
So thanks.
I posted my query months ago, just after you set up the blog. I never reposted but I did revise the query and first five pages (about a hundred times :) based on some of the suggestions you and others gave me. I just wanted to say thank you for keeping up this blog. I am sure it is a lot of work for you, but it is a great service for writers.
I got "The Call" last week and I'm sure it never would have happened without the help of other writers who gave their time to help my manuscript and query be the best it could be. Hopefully I can repay some of the kindness.
So thanks.
Sep 8, 2009
QUERY -- CALLARION AT NIGHT, Revision 1
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent:
Moriah Rowani returns from the elite school where she's been trained as a top-tier bounty hunter looking forward to spending time with the father who raised her alone. Instead, she finds him bleeding to death -- shot by the Chancellery guard found dead nearby. Her father's final words are, "find the diary."
Moriah is forced from her ancestral estate by the Lord Chancellor and his men, who are intent on one thing -- eradicating people with human and satyr or nymph parents. With the help of allies both in and out of the underground resistance, Moriah discovers that the diary, written by the mother who left her ten years ago, holds the secret to crippling the Lord Chancellor's hold on power and possibly pulling the city-state of Callarion from the hell it's become.
My steampunk fantasy novel, CALLARION AT NIGHT, is complete at 100,000 words. Thank you for taking the time to consider my submission.
Dear Agent:
Moriah Rowani returns from the elite school where she's been trained as a top-tier bounty hunter looking forward to spending time with the father who raised her alone. Instead, she finds him bleeding to death -- shot by the Chancellery guard found dead nearby. Her father's final words are, "find the diary."
Moriah is forced from her ancestral estate by the Lord Chancellor and his men, who are intent on one thing -- eradicating people with human and satyr or nymph parents. With the help of allies both in and out of the underground resistance, Moriah discovers that the diary, written by the mother who left her ten years ago, holds the secret to crippling the Lord Chancellor's hold on power and possibly pulling the city-state of Callarion from the hell it's become.
My steampunk fantasy novel, CALLARION AT NIGHT, is complete at 100,000 words. Thank you for taking the time to consider my submission.
NOT HER MOTHER'S FATE, revision 2.
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
When Amy Thompson consented to have a big party for her twenty-first birthday, she didn’t expect to meet the man who would pursue her romantically until she relented, expose the most closely guarded secrets of her childhood, and inadvertently introduce her to the same choices her own mother must have faced. And when Robert Crane wins the heart of this reclusive beauty, he never dreams he’s set them on a path of self discovery that will end in redemption for one, tragedy for the other.
A survivor of years of abuse by her alcoholic father and two previous boyfriends, Amy thinks she has learned her lesson about the cost of a relationship with a drinking man. But Robert is not a typical, abusive alcoholic. Their friends think him impulsively charming, his parents and church believe marriage and family is the cure for his rebelliousness, and his best friend Calvin Mertz refuses to allow Robert to suffer the consequences of his alcoholic binges.
For a while, Amy is sure she can save Robert and, by extension, herself from the haunting memories of her childhood. She involves herself in Robert’s faith; she makes friends of his disapproving parents; and even excuses his occasional brutality as a product of his insecurities. The one thing she refuses to do is to marry Robert and produce the family he craves, the family everyone is sure will make a difference in his commitment to sobriety.
As the relationship progresses, and Robert’s alcoholism escalates, Amy becomes convinced that her own mother would not have married the brut her father eventually became if he didn‘t have some redeeming qualities. Though Robert still suffers the guilt of his actions, Amy is convinced that if she doesn’t leave him, before marriage and children bond them forever, she could also end up with her mothers fate: to die a supposedly accidental death at the hands of her drunken husband.
Not Her Mother’s Fate is a 90,000 word women’s fiction that tests the limits of friendship, love, and loyalty.
Sincerely,
Donna Hole
Click here to read the first revision.
When Amy Thompson consented to have a big party for her twenty-first birthday, she didn’t expect to meet the man who would pursue her romantically until she relented, expose the most closely guarded secrets of her childhood, and inadvertently introduce her to the same choices her own mother must have faced. And when Robert Crane wins the heart of this reclusive beauty, he never dreams he’s set them on a path of self discovery that will end in redemption for one, tragedy for the other.
A survivor of years of abuse by her alcoholic father and two previous boyfriends, Amy thinks she has learned her lesson about the cost of a relationship with a drinking man. But Robert is not a typical, abusive alcoholic. Their friends think him impulsively charming, his parents and church believe marriage and family is the cure for his rebelliousness, and his best friend Calvin Mertz refuses to allow Robert to suffer the consequences of his alcoholic binges.
For a while, Amy is sure she can save Robert and, by extension, herself from the haunting memories of her childhood. She involves herself in Robert’s faith; she makes friends of his disapproving parents; and even excuses his occasional brutality as a product of his insecurities. The one thing she refuses to do is to marry Robert and produce the family he craves, the family everyone is sure will make a difference in his commitment to sobriety.
As the relationship progresses, and Robert’s alcoholism escalates, Amy becomes convinced that her own mother would not have married the brut her father eventually became if he didn‘t have some redeeming qualities. Though Robert still suffers the guilt of his actions, Amy is convinced that if she doesn’t leave him, before marriage and children bond them forever, she could also end up with her mothers fate: to die a supposedly accidental death at the hands of her drunken husband.
Not Her Mother’s Fate is a 90,000 word women’s fiction that tests the limits of friendship, love, and loyalty.
Sincerely,
Donna Hole
Sep 6, 2009
QUERY - JACK MBC
Dear Agent,
I am seeking representation for my young adult novel, JACK MBC, complete at 90,000 words.
Jack’s life is changed when he falls off the roof of a Las Vegas Hotel and doesn’t die. He discovers he has a form of Mind Body Control, or MBC for short. At signs of danger, he can order his body to turn into marble, steel or whatever is required.
His friends tell him he’d make a great superhero, but Jack isn’t sure he wants to be one. At sixteen, he’s not sure what he wants to be, period. He doesn’t appreciate the appearance of a weird ‘extra-ability’ (he refuses to call it a superpower) pushing him into a particular path.
But how can he say no to rescuing people from certain deaths? Even though using MBC gives him head splitting migraines. And when MBC is on, his emotions turn off, and may permanently stay off.
Then Jack makes a serious mistake and a man dies. MBC turns into a monster, attacking him with vicious side effects that may destroy him. Will Jack figure out what to do with MBC and how to control it, or will he lose himself forever?
I have enclosed the first xx pages for your consideration. Thank you.
I am seeking representation for my young adult novel, JACK MBC, complete at 90,000 words.
Jack’s life is changed when he falls off the roof of a Las Vegas Hotel and doesn’t die. He discovers he has a form of Mind Body Control, or MBC for short. At signs of danger, he can order his body to turn into marble, steel or whatever is required.
His friends tell him he’d make a great superhero, but Jack isn’t sure he wants to be one. At sixteen, he’s not sure what he wants to be, period. He doesn’t appreciate the appearance of a weird ‘extra-ability’ (he refuses to call it a superpower) pushing him into a particular path.
But how can he say no to rescuing people from certain deaths? Even though using MBC gives him head splitting migraines. And when MBC is on, his emotions turn off, and may permanently stay off.
Then Jack makes a serious mistake and a man dies. MBC turns into a monster, attacking him with vicious side effects that may destroy him. Will Jack figure out what to do with MBC and how to control it, or will he lose himself forever?
I have enclosed the first xx pages for your consideration. Thank you.
Sep 5, 2009
Query- La Dame D'Or
I am seeking representation for my work of commercial fiction La Dame D’Or. It is complete at 90,000 words. I have completed one other novel, which is currently undergoing revisions. Although I categorize La Dame D’Or as commercial fiction, a large percentage of the story takes place, through flashbacks, in the distant past.
When her long dead and quite ridiculous doctoral thesis suddenly mires Eleanor Lyons in an unfamiliar world filled with hired killers, personal vendettas, and treasure hunters, she first and foremost resents the intrusion on her quiet life. Connor Stevens, a handsome but elusive man harboring a keen interest in her research, suddenly appears in her life around the same time. Desperate to gain her trust, Connor attempts to bully her by tossing an unknown entity into the mix: he is not the only one who believes she holds the key to the resting place of an ancient treasure.
A man who has destroyed Connor’s life for his own pleasure, the bloodthirsty and relentless Jonathan Dubois will stop at nothing to possess the Trinity Medallions, which he believes belong to him through familial descent. Proving Connor’s claim and forcing Eleanor’s hand, he kidnaps Gabrielle, her best friend. Keeping silent is no longer an option as Jonathan holds her friend hostage in exchange for the information in Eleanor's head. Trading herself and her knowledge for her friend’s freedom, Eleanor is forced to do something she hates even more than giving in to pushy and violent men. Trusting pushy and violent men. Unable to claw her way out of Jonathan's clutches on her own, Eleanor reveals the location of the medallions to Connor and his cohorts though she isn’t at all sure her life is more important to him than finding the medallions. At the mercy of a trained, psychotic killer, she has to trust that Connor won’t forget about her now that she has given him what he wants.
I love history and believe that the legends, myths, and characters it provides us are timeless and, if spun effectively, remain both appealing and exciting for all generations of readers. This story races along the path traveled by this elusive ancient treasure while employing detailed flashbacks to let us intimately know the historical figures that helped ensure its survival. I believe this novel succeeds in celebrating the interconnectivity of human life through the centuries, as well as illustrating the legacy that each generation leaves for the next.
I have a bachelor’s degree in Radio-TV-Film from Texas Christian University where I polished a talent for vivid and succinct writing. I am currently working towards a Master’s degree in Ancient History at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, which has instilled in me a passion for the past that is instrumental in bringing this plot to life. I believe this story will appeal to the many readers of books like those written by Iris Johanssen as well as to the masses drawn to the historical framework of the National Treasure films Thank you for your consideration of this proposal.
When her long dead and quite ridiculous doctoral thesis suddenly mires Eleanor Lyons in an unfamiliar world filled with hired killers, personal vendettas, and treasure hunters, she first and foremost resents the intrusion on her quiet life. Connor Stevens, a handsome but elusive man harboring a keen interest in her research, suddenly appears in her life around the same time. Desperate to gain her trust, Connor attempts to bully her by tossing an unknown entity into the mix: he is not the only one who believes she holds the key to the resting place of an ancient treasure.
A man who has destroyed Connor’s life for his own pleasure, the bloodthirsty and relentless Jonathan Dubois will stop at nothing to possess the Trinity Medallions, which he believes belong to him through familial descent. Proving Connor’s claim and forcing Eleanor’s hand, he kidnaps Gabrielle, her best friend. Keeping silent is no longer an option as Jonathan holds her friend hostage in exchange for the information in Eleanor's head. Trading herself and her knowledge for her friend’s freedom, Eleanor is forced to do something she hates even more than giving in to pushy and violent men. Trusting pushy and violent men. Unable to claw her way out of Jonathan's clutches on her own, Eleanor reveals the location of the medallions to Connor and his cohorts though she isn’t at all sure her life is more important to him than finding the medallions. At the mercy of a trained, psychotic killer, she has to trust that Connor won’t forget about her now that she has given him what he wants.
I love history and believe that the legends, myths, and characters it provides us are timeless and, if spun effectively, remain both appealing and exciting for all generations of readers. This story races along the path traveled by this elusive ancient treasure while employing detailed flashbacks to let us intimately know the historical figures that helped ensure its survival. I believe this novel succeeds in celebrating the interconnectivity of human life through the centuries, as well as illustrating the legacy that each generation leaves for the next.
I have a bachelor’s degree in Radio-TV-Film from Texas Christian University where I polished a talent for vivid and succinct writing. I am currently working towards a Master’s degree in Ancient History at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, which has instilled in me a passion for the past that is instrumental in bringing this plot to life. I believe this story will appeal to the many readers of books like those written by Iris Johanssen as well as to the masses drawn to the historical framework of the National Treasure films Thank you for your consideration of this proposal.
REVISED QUERY - THE CHOSEN ONES
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Mr. Agent:
A studious teen’s life has become the stuff of nightmares: not only was she created by aliens to save the universe, but her housecat is actually a werecat in disguise, and she has magical abilities that she has to learn to use on her own which get her mixed up in a dragon civil war, and through all this, dark fairies are hunting her.
We'd like to submit our young adult fantasy, The Chosen Ones, for your review. The completed manuscript is approximately 100,000 words.
Katie is an outcast, her sophomore peers are just too creeped out by her purple hair and glowing violet eyes. Instead of having friends, Katie has books as companions. When the dark fey find her on Earth, her housecat hides her on another planet and explains the truth. There she begins training to use her magical abilities and befriends a pride of dragons that are in dire need of help before their hatchlings die. Soon she realizes she can't help them alone and inadvertently brings Jack to her aid.
Jack was orphaned as a baby and ran away from the latest foster home. Normal people avoid him because of his glowing amber eyes and ability to know what they are thinking. His alley cat companion is telepathic and has been Jack’s only friend on the streets.
Immediately Jack and Katie butt heads. Katie was hoping for the boy in her dreams, and instead Jack is arrogant and awkward. He acts like life is a game. Now they must put aside their differences to save their new dragon friends and thwart the dark fey's attempts at destroying the dragons' planet. Will the logical Katie be able to see through Jack's defenses and learn to trust him in time?
While The Chosen Ones is a stand alone novel, it is also the first in a planned trilogy. We have started writing the second book, The Prophesy, and have a detailed outline available for review. The Alliance, the third book, also has a rough outline in place. This is our first novel.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Natalie and Rick Nuttall
(email address)
(phone number)
Dear Mr. Agent:
A studious teen’s life has become the stuff of nightmares: not only was she created by aliens to save the universe, but her housecat is actually a werecat in disguise, and she has magical abilities that she has to learn to use on her own which get her mixed up in a dragon civil war, and through all this, dark fairies are hunting her.
We'd like to submit our young adult fantasy, The Chosen Ones, for your review. The completed manuscript is approximately 100,000 words.
Katie is an outcast, her sophomore peers are just too creeped out by her purple hair and glowing violet eyes. Instead of having friends, Katie has books as companions. When the dark fey find her on Earth, her housecat hides her on another planet and explains the truth. There she begins training to use her magical abilities and befriends a pride of dragons that are in dire need of help before their hatchlings die. Soon she realizes she can't help them alone and inadvertently brings Jack to her aid.
Jack was orphaned as a baby and ran away from the latest foster home. Normal people avoid him because of his glowing amber eyes and ability to know what they are thinking. His alley cat companion is telepathic and has been Jack’s only friend on the streets.
Immediately Jack and Katie butt heads. Katie was hoping for the boy in her dreams, and instead Jack is arrogant and awkward. He acts like life is a game. Now they must put aside their differences to save their new dragon friends and thwart the dark fey's attempts at destroying the dragons' planet. Will the logical Katie be able to see through Jack's defenses and learn to trust him in time?
While The Chosen Ones is a stand alone novel, it is also the first in a planned trilogy. We have started writing the second book, The Prophesy, and have a detailed outline available for review. The Alliance, the third book, also has a rough outline in place. This is our first novel.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Natalie and Rick Nuttall
(email address)
(phone number)
The Second Chance (1st Revision)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent:
During the trip to redeem his past, Jerry learns two things: Debbie, the woman he loves, is dead and when she left him seven years ago, she was pregnant.
With the help of a kind school teacher named Amy Denner, Jerry meets his son, Jake. The moment is bittersweet as it’s revealed that the disease that took Debbie’s life has passed on to Jake. Jerry falls in love with Amy and learns to become a father to Jake, and just as everything appears to beginning to be normal, it all changes. On the same the day that Jerry was going to propose to Amy and Amy was going to announce her pregnancy, Jake’s disease takes over.
With Jake’s life in the balance and Jerry’s emotions tested again, he must find strength within himself to hold on to his second chance.
THE SECOND CHANCE is a 67,000 word novel that encompasses a personal journey that most of us take at least once in our lives. There is something in this story that will affect everyone in a different way. It may be the person who graduates college only to return home to find everything has changed. It may also be the person who has just sent their last child off to college and has to ask themselves, what’s next?
My short stories have appeared in such publications as The Piker Press and The Cynic Online Magazine.
Thank you for your time and consideration, I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Jim Wisneski
Dear Agent:
During the trip to redeem his past, Jerry learns two things: Debbie, the woman he loves, is dead and when she left him seven years ago, she was pregnant.
With the help of a kind school teacher named Amy Denner, Jerry meets his son, Jake. The moment is bittersweet as it’s revealed that the disease that took Debbie’s life has passed on to Jake. Jerry falls in love with Amy and learns to become a father to Jake, and just as everything appears to beginning to be normal, it all changes. On the same the day that Jerry was going to propose to Amy and Amy was going to announce her pregnancy, Jake’s disease takes over.
With Jake’s life in the balance and Jerry’s emotions tested again, he must find strength within himself to hold on to his second chance.
THE SECOND CHANCE is a 67,000 word novel that encompasses a personal journey that most of us take at least once in our lives. There is something in this story that will affect everyone in a different way. It may be the person who graduates college only to return home to find everything has changed. It may also be the person who has just sent their last child off to college and has to ask themselves, what’s next?
My short stories have appeared in such publications as The Piker Press and The Cynic Online Magazine.
Thank you for your time and consideration, I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Jim Wisneski
Sep 3, 2009
QUERY - TOO FAR GONE
Dear Agent,
Seventeen-year-old Milo hates seeing his mom in pain. It feels like a fist wrenching his guts. But he’s the one thrust into caring for her. His older brother and sister are too busy with their own adult lives, and his dad might as well be grieving already.
Then Lia transfers to his high school. Suddenly, he wonders if she’s the reason he’s yet to date any girls in his classes. Though his parents were high school sweethearts, for the first time Milo thinks, this girl might be someone he could love forever.
Before Milo can get up the nerve, his childhood friend, Damien, slinks in and asks Lia out. Though Milo suspects Damien has no plans to toss aside his player reputation for Lia, he flounders. Does he warn her at the risk of pushing her away and betraying his old friend? Or keep his mouth shut, as usual?
When Lia comes to him, shaking, one night shortly after his mom’s funeral, it’s clear he made the wrong choice. The attempted rape leaves him feeling hatred and guilt as he confronts the friend who was once like a brother to him, but it’s the self-loathing that leaves him spinning out of control.
TOO FAR GONE is a YA novel, complete at 65,000 words. I received my MFA in Creative Writing – Poetry from San Diego State University and have published a few poems. However, this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Seventeen-year-old Milo hates seeing his mom in pain. It feels like a fist wrenching his guts. But he’s the one thrust into caring for her. His older brother and sister are too busy with their own adult lives, and his dad might as well be grieving already.
Then Lia transfers to his high school. Suddenly, he wonders if she’s the reason he’s yet to date any girls in his classes. Though his parents were high school sweethearts, for the first time Milo thinks, this girl might be someone he could love forever.
Before Milo can get up the nerve, his childhood friend, Damien, slinks in and asks Lia out. Though Milo suspects Damien has no plans to toss aside his player reputation for Lia, he flounders. Does he warn her at the risk of pushing her away and betraying his old friend? Or keep his mouth shut, as usual?
When Lia comes to him, shaking, one night shortly after his mom’s funeral, it’s clear he made the wrong choice. The attempted rape leaves him feeling hatred and guilt as he confronts the friend who was once like a brother to him, but it’s the self-loathing that leaves him spinning out of control.
TOO FAR GONE is a YA novel, complete at 65,000 words. I received my MFA in Creative Writing – Poetry from San Diego State University and have published a few poems. However, this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
QUERY - THE SECOND CHANCE
Dear Agent:
I am seeking representation for my 67,000 word fiction novel, THE SECOND CHANCE.
Jerry Dunningham’s life was easy. He woke up, put on a suit and tie, and traded securities all day long for the company he owned. He made money, lived comfortably, but secretly inside, he was miserable. Each day that passed was one day longer away from his love, Debbie. The days now added up to seven years since Jerry pushed her and his entire family away and dedicated his life to his company. Now his company is closed, a victim to the economy and Jerry has nothing but the past. The past that he hopes will fix his future as he packs his bags and travels back to Pennsylvania to find Debbie.
Pennsylvania quickly brings Jerry much heartache as he learns Debbie has passed away. After meeting and confiding in a kind school teacher named Amy Denner, she reveals a secret that Debbie left behind, a secret that she’d kept from him for seven years, a secret that will challenge Jerry in ways he never thought possible.
The past and present become entwined as Jerry must find strength within his changing feelings towards Amy, life, and himself in order to hold on to his second chance.
My short stories have appeared in such publications as The Piker Press and The Cynic Online Magazine. This is my first novel.
Thank you for your time and consideration, I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
I am seeking representation for my 67,000 word fiction novel, THE SECOND CHANCE.
Jerry Dunningham’s life was easy. He woke up, put on a suit and tie, and traded securities all day long for the company he owned. He made money, lived comfortably, but secretly inside, he was miserable. Each day that passed was one day longer away from his love, Debbie. The days now added up to seven years since Jerry pushed her and his entire family away and dedicated his life to his company. Now his company is closed, a victim to the economy and Jerry has nothing but the past. The past that he hopes will fix his future as he packs his bags and travels back to Pennsylvania to find Debbie.
Pennsylvania quickly brings Jerry much heartache as he learns Debbie has passed away. After meeting and confiding in a kind school teacher named Amy Denner, she reveals a secret that Debbie left behind, a secret that she’d kept from him for seven years, a secret that will challenge Jerry in ways he never thought possible.
The past and present become entwined as Jerry must find strength within his changing feelings towards Amy, life, and himself in order to hold on to his second chance.
My short stories have appeared in such publications as The Piker Press and The Cynic Online Magazine. This is my first novel.
Thank you for your time and consideration, I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
QUERY -- CALLARION AT NIGHT
Dear Agent:
Moriah Rowani has spent more than a decade angry at her mother for leaving in the middle of the night, a note to her father the only record of the disappearance. On her runaway mother's orders, her father sent her to the Senro -- a tracking school lauded for placing students in every court around the word -- and a prestigiuous riding school in the desert nation of Budur. Moriah returns, skilled and full of rage, ready to forget the woman who birthed her ... until the day her father is killed. His final words are "find the diary."
She follows her father's orders and begins searching, using all her skills taken from the Senro in the hunt. Moriah must duck the death squads of the Chancellery Guards and Brotherhood of Purity, who are intent on capturing her because she is a half-nymph; an affront to all they hold dear. With the help of allies both in and out of the underground resistance, she discovers that the diary holds secrets able to bring down the Lord Chancellor himself -- the architect of the hell the city-state of Callarion has become.
My steampunk fantasy novel, CALLARION AT NIGHT, is complete at 100,000 words. Thank you for taking the time to consider my submission.
Moriah Rowani has spent more than a decade angry at her mother for leaving in the middle of the night, a note to her father the only record of the disappearance. On her runaway mother's orders, her father sent her to the Senro -- a tracking school lauded for placing students in every court around the word -- and a prestigiuous riding school in the desert nation of Budur. Moriah returns, skilled and full of rage, ready to forget the woman who birthed her ... until the day her father is killed. His final words are "find the diary."
She follows her father's orders and begins searching, using all her skills taken from the Senro in the hunt. Moriah must duck the death squads of the Chancellery Guards and Brotherhood of Purity, who are intent on capturing her because she is a half-nymph; an affront to all they hold dear. With the help of allies both in and out of the underground resistance, she discovers that the diary holds secrets able to bring down the Lord Chancellor himself -- the architect of the hell the city-state of Callarion has become.
My steampunk fantasy novel, CALLARION AT NIGHT, is complete at 100,000 words. Thank you for taking the time to consider my submission.
Sep 1, 2009
DOESN’T MATTER ANYWAY – second version
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent:
I am seeking representation for DOESN’T MATTER ANYWAY, a 93,000-word work of adult literary fiction. I am writing to you because [. . . researched/personalized.]
Like This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff and Black and Blue by Anna Quindlen, my book explores the thin margin of error for a child growing up too fast in a dangerous home. Wishing for a normal childhood exploring the quiet streets of his small Midwestern town, Alan is caught between trying to keep up with his outgoing best friend and keeping an awful family secret – the vicious beatings his dad inflicts on his mom at night. We follow Alan over two treacherous years of adolescence as he asserts his independence from the deepening chaos around him, unaware of how he is nudging his parents out of their pattern of violence and reconciliation and into volatile new territory. Eventually, his defiance will force them to confront how far Alan will go to escape his mom’s shelter, how far she will go to protect Alan from himself, and how far his dad will go to keep control of them both.
My journalism on the subject of children witnessing violence has won magazine and advocacy awards and has been anthologized in college writing texts. I can be reached at [ . . .] Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Robert McGuire
www.robertmcguire.net
Dear Agent:
I am seeking representation for DOESN’T MATTER ANYWAY, a 93,000-word work of adult literary fiction. I am writing to you because [. . . researched/personalized.]
Like This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff and Black and Blue by Anna Quindlen, my book explores the thin margin of error for a child growing up too fast in a dangerous home. Wishing for a normal childhood exploring the quiet streets of his small Midwestern town, Alan is caught between trying to keep up with his outgoing best friend and keeping an awful family secret – the vicious beatings his dad inflicts on his mom at night. We follow Alan over two treacherous years of adolescence as he asserts his independence from the deepening chaos around him, unaware of how he is nudging his parents out of their pattern of violence and reconciliation and into volatile new territory. Eventually, his defiance will force them to confront how far Alan will go to escape his mom’s shelter, how far she will go to protect Alan from himself, and how far his dad will go to keep control of them both.
My journalism on the subject of children witnessing violence has won magazine and advocacy awards and has been anthologized in college writing texts. I can be reached at [ . . .] Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Robert McGuire
www.robertmcguire.net
Agent Interview- Nathan Bransford
Attention Slushpile Readers:
Nathan Bransford, an agent with Curtis Brown, Ltd., was able to spare a few minutes to respond to an interview request. Thanks Nathan!
In addition to his role as an agent, Nathan maintains a blog that is regularly updated with invaluable information on writing, querying, and the publishing industry. Oh, and the occasional TV show. You may have heard of it. You may even be one of the 1,983 people who follow it.
So without further ado...
When reading for pleasure, what is your favorite genre? If you don’t have a favorite, so to speak, then in which genre have you read the most books (for pleasure)?
I truly read all across the board, whether that’s literary fiction, YA, middle grade, women’s fiction, science fiction, fantasy… you name it. I don’t think I read more books in one category or another. Just about the only books I don’t read for pleasure are romance and horror.
Is the above genre also the one in which you have sold the most books?
Similarly to my genres of interest, my sales have been all over the map.
When considering a manuscript, how does your existing network of editors affect your decision to offer representation?
I don’t take something on specifically to mesh with the people I know best in the industry, but by the time I’m finished with a manuscript I want to take on I already have a mental list of the editors who I think might like it.
You accept 4-5 sample pages with a query. Do you ever skip the sample pages if the query is enough to indicate that the work is not for you?
Yes, definitely. I have to stop reading when I’ve made a decision, and that decision can come in the first line or it can come after reading the query and all five sample pages. Even if the query is sub-par I’ll usually skip down and scan the sample pages to see if they jump out at me, but I just don’t have time to pore over all five pages of every query I receive.
How often do sample pages sway your opinion to request a partial when the query is sub-par?
I’ve never had an instance when a query was truly subpar but the pages were amazing. Writers with a great manuscript are nearly always able to put together at least an average query. There have been times when a query was so-so and I was wavering on whether to request pages, and was swayed by the sample material and ended up requesting a partial. But even those instances are rare. For the most part there’s a correlation: a writer with a great manuscript usually writes a great query.
How often does a superb query have sample pages that inspire a rejection?
Very often. Now that I request five pages with the query I actually request far fewer partials than I did before I instituted the policy. Some writers are able to write really superb queries, whether because they’re just good at it or they had help, even if their actual manuscript isn’t actually that strong. Requesting five pages has helped me weed these projects out. This has been great for me from a time perspective as I’m better able to focus my time, and I also am much less likely to miss out on the authors who don’t have a super query but do have a great manuscript.
When shopping a manuscript, how is the query from an agent to an editor different from the writer's query to the agent?
Not that different, really. In fact, some agents will even incorporate the author’s own description of the project into the pitch letter. But the essentials are the same: it’s a short description that will hopefully inspire the editor to want to read it quickly.
Nathan Bransford, an agent with Curtis Brown, Ltd., was able to spare a few minutes to respond to an interview request. Thanks Nathan!
In addition to his role as an agent, Nathan maintains a blog that is regularly updated with invaluable information on writing, querying, and the publishing industry. Oh, and the occasional TV show. You may have heard of it. You may even be one of the 1,983 people who follow it.
So without further ado...
When reading for pleasure, what is your favorite genre? If you don’t have a favorite, so to speak, then in which genre have you read the most books (for pleasure)?
I truly read all across the board, whether that’s literary fiction, YA, middle grade, women’s fiction, science fiction, fantasy… you name it. I don’t think I read more books in one category or another. Just about the only books I don’t read for pleasure are romance and horror.
Is the above genre also the one in which you have sold the most books?
Similarly to my genres of interest, my sales have been all over the map.
When considering a manuscript, how does your existing network of editors affect your decision to offer representation?
I don’t take something on specifically to mesh with the people I know best in the industry, but by the time I’m finished with a manuscript I want to take on I already have a mental list of the editors who I think might like it.
You accept 4-5 sample pages with a query. Do you ever skip the sample pages if the query is enough to indicate that the work is not for you?
Yes, definitely. I have to stop reading when I’ve made a decision, and that decision can come in the first line or it can come after reading the query and all five sample pages. Even if the query is sub-par I’ll usually skip down and scan the sample pages to see if they jump out at me, but I just don’t have time to pore over all five pages of every query I receive.
How often do sample pages sway your opinion to request a partial when the query is sub-par?
I’ve never had an instance when a query was truly subpar but the pages were amazing. Writers with a great manuscript are nearly always able to put together at least an average query. There have been times when a query was so-so and I was wavering on whether to request pages, and was swayed by the sample material and ended up requesting a partial. But even those instances are rare. For the most part there’s a correlation: a writer with a great manuscript usually writes a great query.
How often does a superb query have sample pages that inspire a rejection?
Very often. Now that I request five pages with the query I actually request far fewer partials than I did before I instituted the policy. Some writers are able to write really superb queries, whether because they’re just good at it or they had help, even if their actual manuscript isn’t actually that strong. Requesting five pages has helped me weed these projects out. This has been great for me from a time perspective as I’m better able to focus my time, and I also am much less likely to miss out on the authors who don’t have a super query but do have a great manuscript.
When shopping a manuscript, how is the query from an agent to an editor different from the writer's query to the agent?
Not that different, really. In fact, some agents will even incorporate the author’s own description of the project into the pitch letter. But the essentials are the same: it’s a short description that will hopefully inspire the editor to want to read it quickly.
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