Mar 5, 2009

Submit Queries Here!

Attention Writers!

If you have a query, and you would like it to be available for public viewing / critique, enter it as a comment to this post. Feel free to include 3-4 sample pages with your query.

I will post your query exactly as I receive it, and it will be open for comments and criticism. I've kicked things off with my own query.

I WILL USE THE FIRST LINE OF THE COMMENTS AT THE TITLE FOR THE POST!!

Look at the first comment on this post as a point of reference. I recommend something like
QUERY- TITLE OF YOUR WORK

NOTE: I am not an agent or a publisher. I am an aspiring novelist, and I am doing this because I think it's a cool idea, and a good way to get feedback from other writers on the structure and content of a query.

206 comments:

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Anonymous said...

QUERY- A PERFECT MATE

When twenty-four year old Rita is left standing alone at her wedding madap with nothing but henna designs on her hands as humiliating souvenirs, she has to swallow her pride and do the unthinkable - embrace the age old Indian tradition of arranged marriages.

Thanks to her nosy relatives, rumors spread about her scandal. Worried the stigma will adversely affect her younger sibling's prospects, her parents place matrimonial ads in leading newspapers. While Rita is not entirely thrilled about being reduced to 'Hindu software engineer girl, slim, fair seeking alliance with highly educated engineer or doctor in Bombay', she goes along with it for the sake of her parents.When her stressed father is on the brink of a second heart attack,she agrees to marry Sameer - a man she barely knows.He has a stable job, treats her family with respect and Rita knows in her heart that here is a man who would never walk out on her.

When Rita is sent to New York on an IT consulting gig with her nerdy, but compassionate teammate Raj, somewhere between battling snow storms to getting mugged, they fall for each other. Now Rita is having second thoughts about her impending nuptials. But with Raj planning to marry a U.S citizen to permanently stay in America, Rita must choose between her family's happiness or fight for Raj and true love.

A Perfect Mate is a 65,000 word women's fiction novel.

mandap : in Indian architecture is a pillared outdoor hall or pavilion for public rituals.

James Melville said...

QUERY: VAMPIRE PIGS: Volume One


Dear Agent,


Darren Brones is the owner of the largest slaughterhouse in Texas. He is well known for his sadistic brutality against animals, especially pigs. One day he is bitten by a Vampire Pig and his violent nature against animals starts to change. He realizes the pain he has caused and vows to rid the entire earth of animal cruelty.

To Darren, killing animals is not just his job; it’s a way of life. Ever since he was a child he was taught to have no remorse for them what so ever. But that all changed when one morning he receives a batch of pigs from a farm owned by his close friend named Kent Hamilton. The batch contains a Vampire Pig and as soon as it’s released into the slaughterhouse it manages to bite him. In retaliation for being bitten he kills the Vampire Pig thinking that there is only one of its kind in existence. However, little does he know that the Vampire Pig had already bitten every single pig that was with it during transport. He orders his employees to lock the batch of pigs up so that he can personally deal with them later. Leaving the batch locked up was a bad decision because after a few hours they turn into Vampire Pigs.

Throughout the day Darren begins to experience changes both physically and mentally. He grows a distaste for meat, he has hallucinations of pigs attempting to killing him, his face starts to morph into a pig, his teeth forms into fangs, and it gets to a point where every animal that he has killed in the past flashes before his eyes. Seeing this sends constant searing pains throughout his body and forces him to accept these changes entirely. He ends up turning into a human pig vampire like creature and must live with the fact that he can no longer kill animals anymore. He must protect them, by any means necessary.

VAMPIRE PIGS is complete at 136,600 words and it is the first volume in the series. The manuscript is available, in part or full, upon request. Thanks for your time and consideration!

Sincerely,

James Melville

Anonymous said...

Dear [Agent],

Some people break down immediately when tragedy strikes. It took Ed Bradley seven months.

When 17-year-old Ed meets Luisa—at church of all places—at first she’s just another hot chick, but pretty soon he’s hooked. Although a Baptist church is the last place on earth he wants to hang out, he heads back there, half thinking he must be crazy.

Ed doesn’t lie, exactly. He just doesn’t tell Luisa that he’s been expelled. Or arrested. Or scores weed off the local Sharps gang. In the beginning it doesn’t seem to matter—they have heaps to talk about and he’s quick with one-liners to deflect any unwanted questions. But as they grow closer, so does Ed’s past and when someone he knows threatens to expose him, he dreads her certain rejection and backs off. As the pressure mounts and his home life takes a tragic turn, Ed drops out of school and leaves town, thinking he’ll leave Luisa and his problems behind. Wrong.

At 96,000 words, People and Other Breakable Things shows how one person’s belief in you can change the course of your life. And that people—however imperfect—can be pieced back together. This story will appeal to readers of gritty YA storytellers such as Andrew Smith, Melina Marchetta and Ellen Hopkins.

Thank you very kindly for your consideration.

Yours sincerely

AA.K said...

Query: Potential
Aurora Briar Rose is an atele Valanco princess. It is the right of every atele princess to perform their fairytale as surveyed and dictated by Restorers and Fairies. But when 5th generation Aura realizes that her fairytale was corrupted in an attempt to boost magic generation, she knows she must escape her castle, her world, and life as she knows it to come to earth and find the only person who may be able to save her.
On earth, Aura meets Oliver: a man on the run from potential-slaying Taboos. When Oliver finds out that Aura is indeed a potential, but not a practicing one, he decides to take her to his old magic teacher. There, Aura learns how to harness and control her magic.
But the restorers are hell-bent on bringing Aura back; the completion of her fairytale may be the answer to all they have worked for. The Taboos also believe that Aura is the key to their goal: ridding all worlds of magic.
Caught between an age-old feud between two groups who both want her for their own gain, Aura must find the one fairy who may be able to give her her happily ever after, and find her fast.
But with the magical world hanging on by a thread, Aura has no idea what that would look like any more.

Paul - Soul Fire said...

Soul Fire query.

To ... ,

As you are an agent interested in fantasy novels, I would like to introduce my debut novel:

Dathion, and his mute brother Ellishan, are the princes of Asillia. Their realm stands as a bastion served by the mightiest warriors of the race of men. When evil stirs after a golden age of peace, the King sends his sons on a mission - to reunite the members of an ancient alliance against their foes.

But Dathion sees death and deception in his father’s eyes.

Cast to the corners of the lands, Dathion must keep his brother safe and deliver the scrolls. His adventures take him from the grasslands of Asillia, to the monastic Masans, the barbaric Cerds, the nomads of Palia, and even to the forest of the Elves.

Dogging their every step, dark forces hunt the princes – demonic creatures, men inked with shadowy tattoos infused by dark powers, and a killer whom even the shadows obey.

Dathion harbors his own secret power, along with an artifact of legend, and guardians hand-picked by the King. With them, he strives to complete his father's mission - until he learns that his father did not send them to their deaths, but to keep them safe.

For the King is the one who must fall.

Soul Fire is complete at 135,000 words. It is an epic/high fantasy novel that would appeal to readers of 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Eragon' - targeting both young adult and mature audiences. My only accolade earned, is to have been voted to the editor’s desk on Harper Collins’ Authonomy website. I have a copy of the Harper Collins review available on request.

... , thank you for taking the time to read my query. My e-mail address is ..., and is my best method of contact.

Yours sincerely,
...

Caitlyn H said...

QUERY - THE WORLD OF ILUNAE

Ms. Agent/Mr. Agent,
I am a USA Today Bestselling self-published author for my young adult sci-fi series, The S.K.I.E. Series. I am seeking representation for my 66,357-word young adult fantasy debut novel, The World of Ilunae, the first book in The Shards of Arcayna series. Two sisters get whisked to a world of superhuman clans by a mysterious pendant and must survive to get back home before the ever-spreading corruption hunts them down.

Before heading off to college, Elle only has to tolerate one more summer with her fifteen-year-old sister, Sky. Or so she thought. Plans change abruptly when Sky stumbles across the shard of a rare artifact that thrusts them into a fantastical new world full of bizarre creatures and beings with unimaginable abilities.

But the mystical shard’s power doesn’t stop there. Suddenly, Sky is bestowed with superhuman abilities that mark her as a target for any snarling beast that detects her. On the run, the sisters delve deeper into this mysterious realm, only to find themselves caught in the middle of a brewing clan war.

I graduated from the University of Michigan with a BA in English and a sub-concentration in creative writing. I live in Ann Arbor, Michigan. My writing journey began at the age of seven, coming up with fantastical stories and characters.

I saw on your website that you are interested in young adult fantasy. The Shards of Arcayna is versatile and can be enjoyed by a vast range of ages with its compelling and diverse characters, as well as its intricate world, Ilunae. This series has the exciting, thrilling battles with superhuman abilities in the midst of adventure and mystery coupled with blossoming romance.

I hope this piques your interest. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Caitlyn Hartley
cimdreamer@gmail.com

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