Jul 7, 2010

Query- The Rain Legacy (revision 3)

Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.

Lynette’s rule-breaking tendencies have only ever gotten her into trouble- until she eavesdrops on a plot to murder her family.

Yes, she may have snuck out in the middle of the night and followed her neighbour out of town. She was expecting to find adventure, not to overhear the woman meeting up with a nobleman who may or may not have been in love with her great-grandmother. Nor was she expecting her insignificant family to be targeted. It may be to late for her father, but it’s not too late for Lynette. She takes her sister, a sword, and a box she can’t open, and steals away to spare the only family she has left from the same fate.

But Lynette can’t run forever. She’s a chosen hero of her land’s Goddess, and if she doesn’t take up arms and defend her continent, it will fall into the hands of the most corrupt man in the nation. Never mind she’s thirteen. Never mind she doesn’t know how to swing a sword. And never mind the murderer has centuries of experience, because Lynette's going to bring a higher power into play- and get revenge while she’s at it.

If the Goddess expects miracles from Lynette, the expectation goes both ways.

THE RAIN LEGACY is a 40,000-word middle grade fantasy novel. Thank you for your time and consideration.

4 comments:

Touch of Ink said...

This works for me! I didn't read the earlier versions, but this one makes me want to read the story :)

Scott Daniel said...

I agree with Suzi, I think the query reads fine ... nice hook.

I do question whether you're going to have difficulty finding representation for a 40,000 word novel. Is 40K in the normal range for mid-grade?

Tally said...

Scott: Yes, although they can get much longer. And thank you both!

Anonymous Author said...

Scott, I write middle grades, and I'd call it a little on the short side. 50k would be more normal. But it's not so short as to make finding representation difficult. For YA it would probably be more of a problem.