Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent,
Death has come calling, but he doesn’t want Alexis Powers’ soul – he wants her to find a soul. The soul of a murdered Catholic priest to be exact. Alex is a violent crimes investigator, not a Finder, but Death makes it crystal clear that she is the one who must handle this case or face his wrath. When the reason why becomes apparent, it will destroy Alex’s family forever.
To hide a soul from Death takes enormous power, and whoever is wielding that power will do anything to keep from being found. Not only must Alex find the person or people responsible, but she must do it before her weakened human side gives in to her darker demonic impulses. The stakes are raised even higher when Alex’s disabled partner is brutally murdered in his bed as a warning for her to stay away.
When her best lead turns up missing and a black market holy relic comes into play, Alex realizes she can’t do this on her own. She’s forced to accept the help of her agency rival - a ten thousand year-old Japanese Dragon, and a Witch who specializes in breaking spells. Together they just might be able to solve this case before a demon-powered mage uses the priest’s holy soul to raise an army of truly immortal vampires.
Where Demons Fear to Tread is my completed 86,000-word urban fantasy novel set in modern-day western Massachusetts a decade and a half after the fall of the Veil between the human world and Faerie. This is my first completed novel that I hope to turn into a series exploring what the world would be like if this sort of apocalypse were to actually occur.
I would be glad to send you sample chapters for review. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
R. Barnard
Apr 17, 2009
Query 1/Query 2--Larkin Shift and the Hall of Two Truths
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Quick poll time. I know I said I'd end at revision three, but I need help deciding which of these to use and this has been really helpful so, any suggestions?
#1
An unknowing descendant of the Wenwet priestesses, Larkin Shift doesn’t want to be different. She doesn’t want to develop her magical powers, but they have a mind of their own. And her 8th grade teacher, Mr. Amurat, the one person that can help her, is trapped in the Egyptian underworld. He is a pawn in Principal Reameny’s quest to overthrow the sun god, Ra, and to plunge Earth into eternal darkness and chaos, unless Larkin and her friends can stop him.
But the rescue mission begins with an unexpected consequence—Benny, Larkin’s friend’s, death—and when Ra’s light temporarily revives him, there are only hours until his condition becomes permanent.
Hindered by an ever-changing landscape and its dangerous inhabitants and guided by an untrustworthy shape-shifting cat, Larkin must develop her powers to defeat the evil Principal Reameny, get Benny home alive, and overcome an unexpected betrayal—before the next sunrise.
Larkin Shift and The Hall of Two Truths is a 45,000 word middle grade novel and is the first in a planned series.
#2
Larkin’s is a rescue mission where every minute counts. Each passing second brings her friend Benny closer to death and failure to save her mentor, Mr. Amurat, means losing the one person that can help her control her innate magical ability.
An unknowing descendant of a powerful line of priestesses, Larkin doesn’t want to be different. She doesn’t want to develop her powers, but they have a mind of their own and with Mr. Amurat trapped in the underworld, she has no choice but to embrace them.
Hindered by an ever-changing landscape full of dangerous inhabitants and guided by an untrustworthy shape-shifting cat, Larkin must free Mr. Amurat from his captor, the evil Principal Reameny, get Benny home alive, and overcome an unexpected betrayal—before the next sunrise.
Larkin Shift and The Hall of Two Truths is a 45,000 word middle grade novel and is the first in a planned series.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Quick poll time. I know I said I'd end at revision three, but I need help deciding which of these to use and this has been really helpful so, any suggestions?
#1
An unknowing descendant of the Wenwet priestesses, Larkin Shift doesn’t want to be different. She doesn’t want to develop her magical powers, but they have a mind of their own. And her 8th grade teacher, Mr. Amurat, the one person that can help her, is trapped in the Egyptian underworld. He is a pawn in Principal Reameny’s quest to overthrow the sun god, Ra, and to plunge Earth into eternal darkness and chaos, unless Larkin and her friends can stop him.
But the rescue mission begins with an unexpected consequence—Benny, Larkin’s friend’s, death—and when Ra’s light temporarily revives him, there are only hours until his condition becomes permanent.
Hindered by an ever-changing landscape and its dangerous inhabitants and guided by an untrustworthy shape-shifting cat, Larkin must develop her powers to defeat the evil Principal Reameny, get Benny home alive, and overcome an unexpected betrayal—before the next sunrise.
Larkin Shift and The Hall of Two Truths is a 45,000 word middle grade novel and is the first in a planned series.
#2
Larkin’s is a rescue mission where every minute counts. Each passing second brings her friend Benny closer to death and failure to save her mentor, Mr. Amurat, means losing the one person that can help her control her innate magical ability.
An unknowing descendant of a powerful line of priestesses, Larkin doesn’t want to be different. She doesn’t want to develop her powers, but they have a mind of their own and with Mr. Amurat trapped in the underworld, she has no choice but to embrace them.
Hindered by an ever-changing landscape full of dangerous inhabitants and guided by an untrustworthy shape-shifting cat, Larkin must free Mr. Amurat from his captor, the evil Principal Reameny, get Benny home alive, and overcome an unexpected betrayal—before the next sunrise.
Larkin Shift and The Hall of Two Truths is a 45,000 word middle grade novel and is the first in a planned series.
QUERY/LIFE AFTER DEATH
Dear Ms. Agent:
Violet Young is eager to spend a week without parental authority. When her parents leave for their cruise, she is positive that her plans of hanging out with friends, attending rock concerts, and attaining sun-kissed perfection will end her summer off flawlessly. However, her plans come to a smashing halt on her very first day of freedom, thanks to a life-altering car accident.
Strangers find Violet lying on the side of the road and rescue her. When she awakens from death’s grasp, she is frightened and alone, trapped in a fortress. As she tries every means of escape, James—too cute to be a psychotic kidnapper—enters the picture. He reveals a bevy of problems: she is now an unwilling member of his undead colony, blood is her only gruesome sustenance, and she must abandon her heart-beating biological family to prevent herself from the temptation of “dinnertime”.
Violet battles her conflicted emotions of transitioning into a vampire (who wants to drink blood for eternity? Ew!), her growing attraction for James, and the severed ties from her family. Once things begin to feel semi-normal (as normal as it could be for an undead teenager), skeletons from the past find her and her colony, unleashing a fatal vampire plague. Violet must defend herself from disloyal vampires, vengeful witches, and a mysterious prepubescent soul-sucker. It is up to Violet to save not only her own soul, but also stop the destruction of those she cherishes most dearly.
I have researched your agency through ___________ and found that your company is currently seeking paranormal fiction. My first novel in a supernatural series, LIFE AFTER DEATH, is complete at 114,000 words. I have spent the last six years teaching Language Arts to middle-grade students.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Violet Young is eager to spend a week without parental authority. When her parents leave for their cruise, she is positive that her plans of hanging out with friends, attending rock concerts, and attaining sun-kissed perfection will end her summer off flawlessly. However, her plans come to a smashing halt on her very first day of freedom, thanks to a life-altering car accident.
Strangers find Violet lying on the side of the road and rescue her. When she awakens from death’s grasp, she is frightened and alone, trapped in a fortress. As she tries every means of escape, James—too cute to be a psychotic kidnapper—enters the picture. He reveals a bevy of problems: she is now an unwilling member of his undead colony, blood is her only gruesome sustenance, and she must abandon her heart-beating biological family to prevent herself from the temptation of “dinnertime”.
Violet battles her conflicted emotions of transitioning into a vampire (who wants to drink blood for eternity? Ew!), her growing attraction for James, and the severed ties from her family. Once things begin to feel semi-normal (as normal as it could be for an undead teenager), skeletons from the past find her and her colony, unleashing a fatal vampire plague. Violet must defend herself from disloyal vampires, vengeful witches, and a mysterious prepubescent soul-sucker. It is up to Violet to save not only her own soul, but also stop the destruction of those she cherishes most dearly.
I have researched your agency through ___________ and found that your company is currently seeking paranormal fiction. My first novel in a supernatural series, LIFE AFTER DEATH, is complete at 114,000 words. I have spent the last six years teaching Language Arts to middle-grade students.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Apr 16, 2009
Query - Where Demons Fear to Tread
Dear,
Half-demon Vamyraset Agent Alexis Powers has been given what could very well be her toughest and deadliest case ever.
Death has come calling, but he doesn’t want her soul – he wants her to find a soul. The soul of a murdered Catholic priest to be exact. To hide a soul from Death takes enormous power, and whoever is wielding that power will do anything to keep from being found. Not only must Alex find the person or people responsible, but she must do it before her weakened human side gives in to her darker demonic impulses.
When her best lead turns up missing and a black market Holy Relic comes into play, Alex realizes she can’t do this on her own. She’s forced to accept the help of her Agency rival - a ten thousand year-old Japanese Dragon, and a Witch who specializes in breaking spells. Together they just might be able to solve this case before a demon-powered mage can raise an army of truly immortal vampires.
Where Demons Fear to Tread is my completed 86,000-word urban fantasy novel set in modern-day western Massachusetts a decade and a half after the fall of the Veil between the human world and Faerie. This is my first completed novel that I hope to turn into a series exploring what the world would be like if this sort of apocalypse were to actually occur.
I would be glad to send you sample chapters for review. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
R Barnard
Half-demon Vamyraset Agent Alexis Powers has been given what could very well be her toughest and deadliest case ever.
Death has come calling, but he doesn’t want her soul – he wants her to find a soul. The soul of a murdered Catholic priest to be exact. To hide a soul from Death takes enormous power, and whoever is wielding that power will do anything to keep from being found. Not only must Alex find the person or people responsible, but she must do it before her weakened human side gives in to her darker demonic impulses.
When her best lead turns up missing and a black market Holy Relic comes into play, Alex realizes she can’t do this on her own. She’s forced to accept the help of her Agency rival - a ten thousand year-old Japanese Dragon, and a Witch who specializes in breaking spells. Together they just might be able to solve this case before a demon-powered mage can raise an army of truly immortal vampires.
Where Demons Fear to Tread is my completed 86,000-word urban fantasy novel set in modern-day western Massachusetts a decade and a half after the fall of the Veil between the human world and Faerie. This is my first completed novel that I hope to turn into a series exploring what the world would be like if this sort of apocalypse were to actually occur.
I would be glad to send you sample chapters for review. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
R Barnard
QUERY -PAY ATTENTION
Okay, here goes my very first query and four pages of my novel....
Dear My Agent,
A ravaged corpse is discovered in the mountains while a local medical specialist goes missing without a trace. A young woman and her children suddenly disappear and the only witness is a teenage boy who doesn’t realize yet what he’s seen.
Ben Drake hopes to strengthen his relationship with his teenage son Jason during a road trip that takes them from their home in California to the Mountains of Colorado. Their plans are interrupted when they are unexpectedly drawn into a police investigation involving Maeve Tidewell and her two young daughters. Ben and Jason are compelled to keep searching for the missing family near a cabin they have discovered deep in the woods, and an almost psychic connection draws Ben toward a dangerous, and possibly deadly, confrontation.
Meanwhile Maeve finds herself held captive, along with her daughters and the missing doctor, by a disturbed man from her past. They work together to devise a plan to over power the gruesome killer before he decides the time is right for them to die. Somehow, fate brings them all together in a brave and desperate attempt to escape a bizarre kidnapper.
PAY ATTENTION is the first in a series of suspense stories that border on the paranormal, and is complete at approximately 70,000 words. Thank you so much for your time and consideration of this query and I will look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
The sirens stopped in mid screech, leaving behind an eerie silence while the muted flashes of red and blue continued to flicker like strobe lights across the dozen or so vehicles strewn across the road. They were parked pal-mel in the brush and a group of search and rescue workers moved solemnly around the scene under a canopy of dark, billowing clouds.
Arnold Baker dug the toe of his work boot into the damp soil and shoved his hands into the pockets of his battered sheep skin coat. He glanced up at the sky as a low rumble of thunder started far off in the distance and then turned his attention to the SUV that was just pulling on to the scene. He raised his arm and signaled to the tall, slightly bowed figure that crawled from behind the wheel, and then watched and waited patiently while he picked his way over the uneven ground.
“Arnie” The coroner bobbed his head by way of greeting and the two fell in step as they walked together to the mutilated body.
“It looks like maybe we found that missin’ hiker we been lookin’ for.” Baker speculated.
“Any clue what happened to him?”
“Looks like he probably fell from the ridge up here.” The short barrel-chested sheriff dipped his balding head toward the edge of the overhang that ended a few feet away. Baker peered up at the coroner from under his bushy gray brows. “S&R had a time pullin’ him up from the bottom of the ravine. He was wedged in pretty tight down there and the critters’ve had a go at him, so you just might have a rough time figurin’ out the exact cause of death.”
“If I didn’t know you better sheriff, I’d say that sounded like a challenge.” Sam Kaufman said light heartedly as he slapped the sheriff on the back. Sam was tall and gaunt and slightly stooped from a life of bending over to avoid knocking his head on every other door frame. The contrast in their appearance and difference in education made the two men an unlikely pair, but early on they had discovered a mutual love for books and the pleasures of fishing that led to a solid friendship. They knelt down over the body and studied the decomposing form. Most of the skin and muscle of the extremities had been torn away, leaving the bones jutting and exposed. Ragged pieces of what appeared to be a faded flannel work shirt were stuck here and there to denim jeans and a tough leather hiking boot was still clinging to one foot. Like the rest of the body, it was almost completely covered with dirt and twigs.
“Well, it looks like the wildlife sure has had a hay day. I suppose this poor guy could be your hiker, but I’d say from the looks of it that he’s been dead for more than a few days. Of course, I can’t really say anything for sure until after the autopsy.”
Sheriff Baker shrugged and nodded in a maybe - maybe not sort of agreement while he chewed down the end of the toothpick he’d been swilling around between his teeth and waited for his old friend to take in the details of the gruesome cadaver. It wasn’t long before his patience was rewarded with Kaufman’s shocked exclamation.
“Jesus H Christ Arnie! What in blue blazes happened to his head?”
“Well now, that’s a good question Sam, but I only know one kind a’ animal that skins the hair off its supper ‘fore he sits down to eat.”
As was typical, Glen ended up being the last one out of the office at the end of a really long day. More and more they were all becoming long days. He could hear Lily’s voice in his head reminding him that if he didn’t slow down, one of these first times he was going to crash and then he wouldn’t be any good to her or his patients. He smiled and told himself he would make it up to her this weekend with a tour of the valleys vineyards and a whole day of wine tasting. He checked to make sure that everything was turned off and the alarm was set before he twisted the key and gave one last tug on the door.
He made his way down the stairs off the back porch of the old Victorian where he had set up his practice almost two years ago and started toward the black Jaguar, his pride and joy, parked just a few feet away. A slight movement caught his attention and just as he looked up, Joseph came lumbering around the corner of the house.
‘What the hell is he doing here?’ Glen spoke under his breath, talking to no one in particular. He had an instinctive dislike for the big ogre and he was always on edge whenever he was forced to meet the man’s cold gaze. He started to open the car door, hoping he could drive away and pretend he hadn’t noticed, but by then Joseph was in the parking lot. He was obviously agitated, waving and babbling something about the kids needing him right away.
However annoyed or edgy Glen might be with the father, he would never ignore the needs of the kids and he immediately forgot about trying to pretend he hadn’t noticed him there.
It never occurred to Glen that Joseph’s behavior was completely out of character, his first and only concern being for the kids. All he could hear was the sense of urgency in the other man’s tone and the almost panic stricken expression on his face.
“Where are they?” He asked, and then without waiting for an answer he added in disgust “I’ll follow you but we might need an ambulance this time, I don’t care what your convictions are!”
He pressed the button to unlock the car door, yanking it open in a fit of temper. He was leaning in to throw his medical bag in the back seat when he felt a sudden overwhelming jolt as something hit him hard between the shoulder blades. He gasped at the blow and fell face first across the console. It was like an electrical shock had robbed him of the ability to move his arms or legs and he struggled as someone folded him like a rag doll into the car. He was beginning to lose consciousness but still he tried to twist away and instead came face to face with his attacker.
A much younger version of Joseph was leaning over him and shoving him on to the floor.
“Carl, you little prick!” Glen snarled the words and was horrified when all that came out was a drunken mumble. Drool rolled out of the side of his mouth and down his chin.
What little reality there was came to him like snatches of scenes from a movie flickering in and out of focus. He was partially awake now and he was being jostled around on the floor board of a car. His car. He recognized the feel of the engine slowing and accelerating each time it took another winding turn. He fought to regain his senses as his body rocked with the motion of the car but the effort only made him more disoriented until suddenly, he turned his head and vomited on the rough carpet that was chafing against the side of his face. He blacked out for a few minutes and when he came to again everything was even more unclear, with only fragments of voices and wispy impressions flitting here and there through his mind as everything slowly faded to black.
Dear My Agent,
A ravaged corpse is discovered in the mountains while a local medical specialist goes missing without a trace. A young woman and her children suddenly disappear and the only witness is a teenage boy who doesn’t realize yet what he’s seen.
Ben Drake hopes to strengthen his relationship with his teenage son Jason during a road trip that takes them from their home in California to the Mountains of Colorado. Their plans are interrupted when they are unexpectedly drawn into a police investigation involving Maeve Tidewell and her two young daughters. Ben and Jason are compelled to keep searching for the missing family near a cabin they have discovered deep in the woods, and an almost psychic connection draws Ben toward a dangerous, and possibly deadly, confrontation.
Meanwhile Maeve finds herself held captive, along with her daughters and the missing doctor, by a disturbed man from her past. They work together to devise a plan to over power the gruesome killer before he decides the time is right for them to die. Somehow, fate brings them all together in a brave and desperate attempt to escape a bizarre kidnapper.
PAY ATTENTION is the first in a series of suspense stories that border on the paranormal, and is complete at approximately 70,000 words. Thank you so much for your time and consideration of this query and I will look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
The sirens stopped in mid screech, leaving behind an eerie silence while the muted flashes of red and blue continued to flicker like strobe lights across the dozen or so vehicles strewn across the road. They were parked pal-mel in the brush and a group of search and rescue workers moved solemnly around the scene under a canopy of dark, billowing clouds.
Arnold Baker dug the toe of his work boot into the damp soil and shoved his hands into the pockets of his battered sheep skin coat. He glanced up at the sky as a low rumble of thunder started far off in the distance and then turned his attention to the SUV that was just pulling on to the scene. He raised his arm and signaled to the tall, slightly bowed figure that crawled from behind the wheel, and then watched and waited patiently while he picked his way over the uneven ground.
“Arnie” The coroner bobbed his head by way of greeting and the two fell in step as they walked together to the mutilated body.
“It looks like maybe we found that missin’ hiker we been lookin’ for.” Baker speculated.
“Any clue what happened to him?”
“Looks like he probably fell from the ridge up here.” The short barrel-chested sheriff dipped his balding head toward the edge of the overhang that ended a few feet away. Baker peered up at the coroner from under his bushy gray brows. “S&R had a time pullin’ him up from the bottom of the ravine. He was wedged in pretty tight down there and the critters’ve had a go at him, so you just might have a rough time figurin’ out the exact cause of death.”
“If I didn’t know you better sheriff, I’d say that sounded like a challenge.” Sam Kaufman said light heartedly as he slapped the sheriff on the back. Sam was tall and gaunt and slightly stooped from a life of bending over to avoid knocking his head on every other door frame. The contrast in their appearance and difference in education made the two men an unlikely pair, but early on they had discovered a mutual love for books and the pleasures of fishing that led to a solid friendship. They knelt down over the body and studied the decomposing form. Most of the skin and muscle of the extremities had been torn away, leaving the bones jutting and exposed. Ragged pieces of what appeared to be a faded flannel work shirt were stuck here and there to denim jeans and a tough leather hiking boot was still clinging to one foot. Like the rest of the body, it was almost completely covered with dirt and twigs.
“Well, it looks like the wildlife sure has had a hay day. I suppose this poor guy could be your hiker, but I’d say from the looks of it that he’s been dead for more than a few days. Of course, I can’t really say anything for sure until after the autopsy.”
Sheriff Baker shrugged and nodded in a maybe - maybe not sort of agreement while he chewed down the end of the toothpick he’d been swilling around between his teeth and waited for his old friend to take in the details of the gruesome cadaver. It wasn’t long before his patience was rewarded with Kaufman’s shocked exclamation.
“Jesus H Christ Arnie! What in blue blazes happened to his head?”
“Well now, that’s a good question Sam, but I only know one kind a’ animal that skins the hair off its supper ‘fore he sits down to eat.”
As was typical, Glen ended up being the last one out of the office at the end of a really long day. More and more they were all becoming long days. He could hear Lily’s voice in his head reminding him that if he didn’t slow down, one of these first times he was going to crash and then he wouldn’t be any good to her or his patients. He smiled and told himself he would make it up to her this weekend with a tour of the valleys vineyards and a whole day of wine tasting. He checked to make sure that everything was turned off and the alarm was set before he twisted the key and gave one last tug on the door.
He made his way down the stairs off the back porch of the old Victorian where he had set up his practice almost two years ago and started toward the black Jaguar, his pride and joy, parked just a few feet away. A slight movement caught his attention and just as he looked up, Joseph came lumbering around the corner of the house.
‘What the hell is he doing here?’ Glen spoke under his breath, talking to no one in particular. He had an instinctive dislike for the big ogre and he was always on edge whenever he was forced to meet the man’s cold gaze. He started to open the car door, hoping he could drive away and pretend he hadn’t noticed, but by then Joseph was in the parking lot. He was obviously agitated, waving and babbling something about the kids needing him right away.
However annoyed or edgy Glen might be with the father, he would never ignore the needs of the kids and he immediately forgot about trying to pretend he hadn’t noticed him there.
It never occurred to Glen that Joseph’s behavior was completely out of character, his first and only concern being for the kids. All he could hear was the sense of urgency in the other man’s tone and the almost panic stricken expression on his face.
“Where are they?” He asked, and then without waiting for an answer he added in disgust “I’ll follow you but we might need an ambulance this time, I don’t care what your convictions are!”
He pressed the button to unlock the car door, yanking it open in a fit of temper. He was leaning in to throw his medical bag in the back seat when he felt a sudden overwhelming jolt as something hit him hard between the shoulder blades. He gasped at the blow and fell face first across the console. It was like an electrical shock had robbed him of the ability to move his arms or legs and he struggled as someone folded him like a rag doll into the car. He was beginning to lose consciousness but still he tried to twist away and instead came face to face with his attacker.
A much younger version of Joseph was leaning over him and shoving him on to the floor.
“Carl, you little prick!” Glen snarled the words and was horrified when all that came out was a drunken mumble. Drool rolled out of the side of his mouth and down his chin.
What little reality there was came to him like snatches of scenes from a movie flickering in and out of focus. He was partially awake now and he was being jostled around on the floor board of a car. His car. He recognized the feel of the engine slowing and accelerating each time it took another winding turn. He fought to regain his senses as his body rocked with the motion of the car but the effort only made him more disoriented until suddenly, he turned his head and vomited on the rough carpet that was chafing against the side of his face. He blacked out for a few minutes and when he came to again everything was even more unclear, with only fragments of voices and wispy impressions flitting here and there through his mind as everything slowly faded to black.
Query- Severed Ties (Revision #3)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear Agent,
Three hundred and twenty three passengers feared dead. For Suzanne Taylor, surviving the fiery crash of Flight 148 is bittersweet.
Waking from a coma a week after the accident, Suzanne learns her son is dead. When her dreams show Caleb growing older with each passing month, Suzanne is convinced that he is still alive.
Her marriage begins to unravel as Suzanne continues to pursue her quest for the truth. Feeling alone and desperate to find answers, Suzanne finds herself wrapped up in an affair with a handsome N.T.S.B. investigator.
When a fellow survivor is interviewed during the one year anniversary coverage of the crash, Suzanne reaches out to her, hoping to find answers regarding her son’s fate. As the survivor recalls the final moments of Caleb’s life, a cry from an adjoining bedroom reveals the truth.
I am seeking representation for Severed Ties, a women's fiction work, complete at 114,000 words.
Thank you for your time and your consideration.
Sincerely,
D. Ross
Click here to read the first revision.
Click here to read the second revision.
Dear Agent,
Three hundred and twenty three passengers feared dead. For Suzanne Taylor, surviving the fiery crash of Flight 148 is bittersweet.
Waking from a coma a week after the accident, Suzanne learns her son is dead. When her dreams show Caleb growing older with each passing month, Suzanne is convinced that he is still alive.
Her marriage begins to unravel as Suzanne continues to pursue her quest for the truth. Feeling alone and desperate to find answers, Suzanne finds herself wrapped up in an affair with a handsome N.T.S.B. investigator.
When a fellow survivor is interviewed during the one year anniversary coverage of the crash, Suzanne reaches out to her, hoping to find answers regarding her son’s fate. As the survivor recalls the final moments of Caleb’s life, a cry from an adjoining bedroom reveals the truth.
I am seeking representation for Severed Ties, a women's fiction work, complete at 114,000 words.
Thank you for your time and your consideration.
Sincerely,
D. Ross
The Eternal Link Query Letter
A revision of this query has been posted. Click here to read it.
Dear Mr./Ms. Agent,
I am seeking representation for my 80,000 word young adult fantasy novel, THE ETERNAL LINK.
Trees start talking, entire ancient villages appear out of nowhere, and the evil wizard Valmont arrives in the future ready to trample all who get between him and immortal power. All of this, because sixteen-year old Catalina wanted to find her true mother and instead causes a rift in time that collides the magical past and the high-tech future.
With the two worlds merging at an alarming rate and time leaps occurring as close as a few feet away, Catalina manages her ever growing powers and accepts her responsibility to restore order as an Eternal, a keeper of time. With so little of her magic developed, Catalina tries to renew the powers of the Eternal before her, an old wizard whose weakness caused Catalina to be chosen in his place. But with time literally running out and Valmont closing in, Catalina chooses between holding onto her hopes of a life with her mother or her duty to return time to its proper state. A state where nothing is left of her new friends, her mother, or the boy she comes to love than dust below her feet.
Dear Mr./Ms. Agent,
I am seeking representation for my 80,000 word young adult fantasy novel, THE ETERNAL LINK.
Trees start talking, entire ancient villages appear out of nowhere, and the evil wizard Valmont arrives in the future ready to trample all who get between him and immortal power. All of this, because sixteen-year old Catalina wanted to find her true mother and instead causes a rift in time that collides the magical past and the high-tech future.
With the two worlds merging at an alarming rate and time leaps occurring as close as a few feet away, Catalina manages her ever growing powers and accepts her responsibility to restore order as an Eternal, a keeper of time. With so little of her magic developed, Catalina tries to renew the powers of the Eternal before her, an old wizard whose weakness caused Catalina to be chosen in his place. But with time literally running out and Valmont closing in, Catalina chooses between holding onto her hopes of a life with her mother or her duty to return time to its proper state. A state where nothing is left of her new friends, her mother, or the boy she comes to love than dust below her feet.
Query- Severed Ties (Revision #2)
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Agent,
Three hundred and twenty three passengers feared dead. For Suzanne Taylor, surviving the fiery crash of Flight 148 is bittersweet.
Waking from a coma a week after the accident, Suzanne is told that her son is dead. Her dreams tell her otherwise. Suzanne’s dreams show Caleb growing older with each passing month, causing her to believe that her son is still alive.
Her marriage begins to unravel as Suzanne continues to pursue her quest for the truth. Feeling alone and desperate to find answers, Suzanne finds herself wrapped up in an affair with a handsome N.T.S.B. investigator.
When a fellow survivor is interviewed during the one year anniversary coverage of the crash, Suzanne reaches out to her, hoping to find answers regarding her son’s fate. As the survivor recalls the final moments of Caleb’s life, a cry from an ajoining bedroom reveals everything Suzanne has been searching for. Caleb is alive.
I am seeking representation for Severed Ties, a women's fiction work, complete at 114,000 words.
Thank you for your time and your consideration.
Sincerely,
D. Ross
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear Agent,
Three hundred and twenty three passengers feared dead. For Suzanne Taylor, surviving the fiery crash of Flight 148 is bittersweet.
Waking from a coma a week after the accident, Suzanne is told that her son is dead. Her dreams tell her otherwise. Suzanne’s dreams show Caleb growing older with each passing month, causing her to believe that her son is still alive.
Her marriage begins to unravel as Suzanne continues to pursue her quest for the truth. Feeling alone and desperate to find answers, Suzanne finds herself wrapped up in an affair with a handsome N.T.S.B. investigator.
When a fellow survivor is interviewed during the one year anniversary coverage of the crash, Suzanne reaches out to her, hoping to find answers regarding her son’s fate. As the survivor recalls the final moments of Caleb’s life, a cry from an ajoining bedroom reveals everything Suzanne has been searching for. Caleb is alive.
I am seeking representation for Severed Ties, a women's fiction work, complete at 114,000 words.
Thank you for your time and your consideration.
Sincerely,
D. Ross
Apr 15, 2009
Thank You
I try to read every query and every comment on this blog. It's tough, but I try. Many of you have thanked me for starting this and maintaining it, but I can only take partial credit for it. Sure, it was my idea and I moderate it, but the real benefit is not from me. It's from all of you who read the queries and offer your input.
I also need to spread that thanks out to everyone who has helped promote this blog, especially Nathan Bransford, who included a link in one of his This Week in Publishing posts and helped me go from 56 visits one day to 473 the next. He's also gracious enough to allow the occasional link in the comments on his blog. Janet Reid has also allowed links in the comments on her blog. If, by any odd chance, there is someone reading this who has not yet visited either of the aforementioned agent blogs, you really need to check them out.
Some time I'll be adding on links to other writing-centric blogs. There are many good ones out there that help you delve deeper into the craft, like The Innocent Flower, the QueryTracker blog, and The Literary Lab, and some that are fun ways to stretch your creative muscles, like Come in Character.
So thanks all the way around, and good luck!
Oh, and one shameless plug. I have another blog, My Daley Rant, where I let loose with life's little absurdities. If you really want to thank me, stop by there and leave a comment!
I also need to spread that thanks out to everyone who has helped promote this blog, especially Nathan Bransford, who included a link in one of his This Week in Publishing posts and helped me go from 56 visits one day to 473 the next. He's also gracious enough to allow the occasional link in the comments on his blog. Janet Reid has also allowed links in the comments on her blog. If, by any odd chance, there is someone reading this who has not yet visited either of the aforementioned agent blogs, you really need to check them out.
Some time I'll be adding on links to other writing-centric blogs. There are many good ones out there that help you delve deeper into the craft, like The Innocent Flower, the QueryTracker blog, and The Literary Lab, and some that are fun ways to stretch your creative muscles, like Come in Character.
So thanks all the way around, and good luck!
Oh, and one shameless plug. I have another blog, My Daley Rant, where I let loose with life's little absurdities. If you really want to thank me, stop by there and leave a comment!
Query- Severed Ties (Revision #1)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear Agent,
Three hundred and twenty three passengers feared dead. For Suzanne Taylor, surviving the fiery crash of Flight 148 is bittersweet.
Waking from a coma a week after the accident, Suzanne is told that her son is dead. Her dreams tell her otherwise. Suzanne’s dreams show Caleb growing older with each passing month, causing her to believe that her son is still alive.
Her marriage begins to unravel as Suzanne continues to pursue her quest for the truth. Feeling alone and desperate to find answers, Suzanne finds herself wrapped up in an affair with a handsome N.T.S.B. investigator.
At the one year anniversary of the crash, Suzanne meets a fellow survivor who may have answers regarding her son’s fate. As the survivor recalls the final moments of Caleb’s life, a cry from the next room reveals the awful truth.
I am seeking representation for Severed Ties, a women's fiction work, complete at 114,000 words.
Thank you for your time and your consideration.
Sincerely,
D. Ross
Dear Agent,
Three hundred and twenty three passengers feared dead. For Suzanne Taylor, surviving the fiery crash of Flight 148 is bittersweet.
Waking from a coma a week after the accident, Suzanne is told that her son is dead. Her dreams tell her otherwise. Suzanne’s dreams show Caleb growing older with each passing month, causing her to believe that her son is still alive.
Her marriage begins to unravel as Suzanne continues to pursue her quest for the truth. Feeling alone and desperate to find answers, Suzanne finds herself wrapped up in an affair with a handsome N.T.S.B. investigator.
At the one year anniversary of the crash, Suzanne meets a fellow survivor who may have answers regarding her son’s fate. As the survivor recalls the final moments of Caleb’s life, a cry from the next room reveals the awful truth.
I am seeking representation for Severed Ties, a women's fiction work, complete at 114,000 words.
Thank you for your time and your consideration.
Sincerely,
D. Ross
Query- EVERLASTING (Revision #1)
Click here to read the original query.
Dear _______:
When you die, you’re supposed to fade to Everlasting. That’s what souls believe. But Jeanne has been dead for hundreds of years and yet she aimlessly wanders the halls of The Louvre in modern-day Paris.
Jeanne’s aimlessness ends the day she encounters Etienne Armand, a fashion designer on the brink of ruin. Finding that he can see her is a surprise which wrenches her into awareness. Released from her despondence, Jeanne is compelled to investigate the painful memories of her tragic past and is inexorably drawn into the world of the living. She embarks on a plan to help Etienne save his failing couture house and they recognize a mutual attraction with roots in the mysteries of her previous life.
Jeanne’s initial eagerness to find resolution and fade, morphs over the course of her journey into frantic desperation to remain in the land of the living. Unfortunately, fading is not the choice of the soul.
EVERLASTING is romantic fiction, with a supernatural twist, completed at 75,000 words for which I am seeking representation. Thank you for your time and kind consideration.
Sincerely,
ME
Dear _______:
When you die, you’re supposed to fade to Everlasting. That’s what souls believe. But Jeanne has been dead for hundreds of years and yet she aimlessly wanders the halls of The Louvre in modern-day Paris.
Jeanne’s aimlessness ends the day she encounters Etienne Armand, a fashion designer on the brink of ruin. Finding that he can see her is a surprise which wrenches her into awareness. Released from her despondence, Jeanne is compelled to investigate the painful memories of her tragic past and is inexorably drawn into the world of the living. She embarks on a plan to help Etienne save his failing couture house and they recognize a mutual attraction with roots in the mysteries of her previous life.
Jeanne’s initial eagerness to find resolution and fade, morphs over the course of her journey into frantic desperation to remain in the land of the living. Unfortunately, fading is not the choice of the soul.
EVERLASTING is romantic fiction, with a supernatural twist, completed at 75,000 words for which I am seeking representation. Thank you for your time and kind consideration.
Sincerely,
ME
QUERY - ANGEL UNDERCOVER (Revision 4)
Click here to read revisions 2 and 3.
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear [Agent name],
I chose to submit to you because [personalized tidbit about agent].
Fourteen year old Paige Moss is a bleeding-heart humanitarian optimist held captive by her own timid nature. But when she is kidnapped by a deranged visionary, Paige must get past her shyness in order to save her sister’s integrity, her friend’s happiness, and her city’s existence from his manipulating grip. A much bolder Paige exposes the visionary’s ruthless game, follows him into exile to retrieve a precious belonging, and leads a team of allies to save her city from his vengeance. Through her oft-dangerous, yet light-hearted adventures, Paige is accompanied by a diverse cast of unforgettable friends. She learns that shyness is not a state of existence, but a choice – that her character is really the sum of her actions – and becomes the hero she never expected she could be.
ANGEL UNDERCOVER is an 84,000 word YA fantasy. It is my first novel and it sets up for sequels.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards,
Click here to read the original query.
Click here to read the first revision.
Dear [Agent name],
I chose to submit to you because [personalized tidbit about agent].
Fourteen year old Paige Moss is a bleeding-heart humanitarian optimist held captive by her own timid nature. But when she is kidnapped by a deranged visionary, Paige must get past her shyness in order to save her sister’s integrity, her friend’s happiness, and her city’s existence from his manipulating grip. A much bolder Paige exposes the visionary’s ruthless game, follows him into exile to retrieve a precious belonging, and leads a team of allies to save her city from his vengeance. Through her oft-dangerous, yet light-hearted adventures, Paige is accompanied by a diverse cast of unforgettable friends. She learns that shyness is not a state of existence, but a choice – that her character is really the sum of her actions – and becomes the hero she never expected she could be.
ANGEL UNDERCOVER is an 84,000 word YA fantasy. It is my first novel and it sets up for sequels.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kind regards,
Query- Severed Ties
Dear Agent,
I am seeking representation for my novel, Severed Ties, complete at 114,000 words.
Three hundred and twenty three passengers feared dead. For Suzanne Taylor, surviving the fiery crash of Flight 148 is bittersweet. Her infant son, Caleb, is missing and presumed dead.
Waking from a coma a week after the accident, Suzanne is told that her son is dead. Her dreams tell her otherwise. Suzanne’s dreams show Caleb growing older with each passing month, causing her to believe that her son is still alive. Her marriage begins to unravel as Suzanne continues to pursue her quest for the truth. A torrid affair with a handsome N.T.S.B. investigator further damages her fragile union. A year after the crash, Suzanne seeks out a fellow survivor who may have answers regarding her son’s fate. As the survivor recalls the final moments of Caleb’s life, a cry from the next room reveals the awful truth.
Thank you for your time and your consideration.
Sincerely,
D. Ross
I am seeking representation for my novel, Severed Ties, complete at 114,000 words.
Three hundred and twenty three passengers feared dead. For Suzanne Taylor, surviving the fiery crash of Flight 148 is bittersweet. Her infant son, Caleb, is missing and presumed dead.
Waking from a coma a week after the accident, Suzanne is told that her son is dead. Her dreams tell her otherwise. Suzanne’s dreams show Caleb growing older with each passing month, causing her to believe that her son is still alive. Her marriage begins to unravel as Suzanne continues to pursue her quest for the truth. A torrid affair with a handsome N.T.S.B. investigator further damages her fragile union. A year after the crash, Suzanne seeks out a fellow survivor who may have answers regarding her son’s fate. As the survivor recalls the final moments of Caleb’s life, a cry from the next room reveals the awful truth.
Thank you for your time and your consideration.
Sincerely,
D. Ross
Query- The Vampire, the Witch & the Wardrobe
Dear Ms. Jackson:
Only something seriously nasty would drag Dr. Bebe Zachary home to San Francisco. If her grandmother’s accidental overdose weren’t bad enough, her cousins have filed to overturn Grandma Petrov’s will and lost their coven’s Book of Shadows in the process. The only way to get the politically incriminating Book back is to buy the wardrobe it’s hidden in at the estate auction. Except she’s outbid by the only thing more infuriating than her idiotic cousins--a vampire. Not just any vampire, but the coven master of the western United States, Caesar Augustine.
Caesar’s siblings think he’s insane for jumping smack dab in the middle of a witches’ civil war. He’d be the first person to admit it’s the last place he wants to be, but Natasha Petrov’s death was no accident. Someone’s found out she was working on a cure for the vampire virus, and her notes have disappeared. If he ever wants to be human again, his only choice is to stay close to Natasha’s heir, her granddaughter Bebe. And the luscious witch provides a temptation more dangerous than the assassins after her.
The Vampire, the Witch & the Wardrobe is a 90,000-word urban fantasy novel with romantic elements and has finaled in two RWA contests. I have attached the first five pages for your review.
I am a member of Romance Writers of America, and I’m active in the West Houston chapter. As a recovering attorney, I currently write a legal column for the Texas Highway Patrol Magazine.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely yours,
Suzan Harden
Only something seriously nasty would drag Dr. Bebe Zachary home to San Francisco. If her grandmother’s accidental overdose weren’t bad enough, her cousins have filed to overturn Grandma Petrov’s will and lost their coven’s Book of Shadows in the process. The only way to get the politically incriminating Book back is to buy the wardrobe it’s hidden in at the estate auction. Except she’s outbid by the only thing more infuriating than her idiotic cousins--a vampire. Not just any vampire, but the coven master of the western United States, Caesar Augustine.
Caesar’s siblings think he’s insane for jumping smack dab in the middle of a witches’ civil war. He’d be the first person to admit it’s the last place he wants to be, but Natasha Petrov’s death was no accident. Someone’s found out she was working on a cure for the vampire virus, and her notes have disappeared. If he ever wants to be human again, his only choice is to stay close to Natasha’s heir, her granddaughter Bebe. And the luscious witch provides a temptation more dangerous than the assassins after her.
The Vampire, the Witch & the Wardrobe is a 90,000-word urban fantasy novel with romantic elements and has finaled in two RWA contests. I have attached the first five pages for your review.
I am a member of Romance Writers of America, and I’m active in the West Houston chapter. As a recovering attorney, I currently write a legal column for the Texas Highway Patrol Magazine.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely yours,
Suzan Harden
QUERY- First Degree Innocence
Dear (Agent Name):
Carrie Lang’s sheltered life ends with a prison sentence when she’s wrongfully convicted for involvement in a bank robbery. Her arrest comes on the day she’s called in sick and stayed inside, so she has no explanation why an eye-witness describes her in great detail, right down to the make and model of her car.
Someone’s made a terrible mistake, but her continued plea of innocence falls on deaf ears, even among her fellow inmates. Her woes increase when the prison bully sets her sights on Carrie as a cellmate. There's a plan for retribution brewing, and naïve Carrie finds herself smack dab in the middle of it. Her ten year sentence seems mild when death becomes a very real option for refusing to participate.
First Degree Innocence, my women's fiction/romantic suspense, is nearing completion at a length suitable for mainstream publishing. This story of a woman wrongly incarcerated is not for the faint of heart, even when a handsome male guard enters the picture. I'm sure readers will sense the terror, isolation and cold gray interior of prison life while walking in my heroine's shoes.
I’ve researched your website, admire what I see, and have read positive feedback from those you represent. Like most authors, I aspire to bigger and better things and I would love to team with you. I write in the genres you seek and am an award nominated, multi-published author already contracted with several small houses. I’ve recently sold two short stories to a new romance magazine.
My love for writing and past experience in creating and editing forms/publications for my position at the University of California nurtured my desire to be an author. Aside from a personal website featuring excerpts from my published work, I maintain a very active blog and membership to a multitude of author/reader groups and promotional sites. I also participate in two critique groups that have been very helpful. I can be reached at (redacted)if you have questions, or I respond very well to email at (redacted)
I realize you are very busy, so I thank you for your time and attention. I hope my query has piqued your curiosity about Carrie’s claim of First Degree Innocence.
Carrie Lang’s sheltered life ends with a prison sentence when she’s wrongfully convicted for involvement in a bank robbery. Her arrest comes on the day she’s called in sick and stayed inside, so she has no explanation why an eye-witness describes her in great detail, right down to the make and model of her car.
Someone’s made a terrible mistake, but her continued plea of innocence falls on deaf ears, even among her fellow inmates. Her woes increase when the prison bully sets her sights on Carrie as a cellmate. There's a plan for retribution brewing, and naïve Carrie finds herself smack dab in the middle of it. Her ten year sentence seems mild when death becomes a very real option for refusing to participate.
First Degree Innocence, my women's fiction/romantic suspense, is nearing completion at a length suitable for mainstream publishing. This story of a woman wrongly incarcerated is not for the faint of heart, even when a handsome male guard enters the picture. I'm sure readers will sense the terror, isolation and cold gray interior of prison life while walking in my heroine's shoes.
I’ve researched your website, admire what I see, and have read positive feedback from those you represent. Like most authors, I aspire to bigger and better things and I would love to team with you. I write in the genres you seek and am an award nominated, multi-published author already contracted with several small houses. I’ve recently sold two short stories to a new romance magazine.
My love for writing and past experience in creating and editing forms/publications for my position at the University of California nurtured my desire to be an author. Aside from a personal website featuring excerpts from my published work, I maintain a very active blog and membership to a multitude of author/reader groups and promotional sites. I also participate in two critique groups that have been very helpful. I can be reached at (redacted)if you have questions, or I respond very well to email at (redacted)
I realize you are very busy, so I thank you for your time and attention. I hope my query has piqued your curiosity about Carrie’s claim of First Degree Innocence.
Apr 14, 2009
Query--Doesn't Matter Anyway
Dear Mr./Ms. Agent-for-a-day:
I am writing to gauge your interest in representing, “Doesn’t Matter Anyway,” a 120,000-word (390-page typescript) work of adult fiction. I understand [because of my careful research] that you have a particular interest in literary coming-of-age novels.
Alan is an eleven-year-old boy in a small Midwestern city just starting to understand that the frightening violence his dad inflicts on his mom at night is something he needs to keep secret outside the house. Increasingly resentful and unsure about who to trust, Alan only succeeds in isolating himself—from his best friend since first grade, who is more cool and outgoing and impatient with Alan’s clinginess; from his friend’s parents, who offer a seductive vision of a normal family life; and from his mom, who seems more interested in keeping Alan a little kid than in getting away from the violence. We follow Alan over the next two years as he grows more independent and more confident that he can ride out this situation without anyone else’s help. But he’s unaware of how he is becoming a volatile ingredient to the situation himself, nudging his parents out of their old patterns and into dangerous new territory.
I am a freelance journalist and copywriter and a college writing teacher, and “Doesn’t Matter Anyway” is my first novel. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
R. E. Dacted
I am writing to gauge your interest in representing, “Doesn’t Matter Anyway,” a 120,000-word (390-page typescript) work of adult fiction. I understand [because of my careful research] that you have a particular interest in literary coming-of-age novels.
Alan is an eleven-year-old boy in a small Midwestern city just starting to understand that the frightening violence his dad inflicts on his mom at night is something he needs to keep secret outside the house. Increasingly resentful and unsure about who to trust, Alan only succeeds in isolating himself—from his best friend since first grade, who is more cool and outgoing and impatient with Alan’s clinginess; from his friend’s parents, who offer a seductive vision of a normal family life; and from his mom, who seems more interested in keeping Alan a little kid than in getting away from the violence. We follow Alan over the next two years as he grows more independent and more confident that he can ride out this situation without anyone else’s help. But he’s unaware of how he is becoming a volatile ingredient to the situation himself, nudging his parents out of their old patterns and into dangerous new territory.
I am a freelance journalist and copywriter and a college writing teacher, and “Doesn’t Matter Anyway” is my first novel. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
R. E. Dacted
Query- Everlasting
Dear ________:
When you die, you’re supposed to go to Everlasting. That’s what the souls believe. But Jeanne has been dead for hundreds of years and yet she aimlessly wanders the halls of The Lourve in modern-day Paris.
Her aimlessness ends the day she encounters Etienne Armand, a fashion designer on the brink of ruin. Finding that he can see her shocks her into realizing that she has forgotten who she was and how she died. She now feels compelled to investigate memories of her past with the help of two other souls who have resisted fading. While painful memories of her tragic history slowly emerge, she is inexorably drawn into the world of the living as she embarks on a plan to help Etienne save his failing couture house, and they recognize a mutual attraction with roots in her previous life.
In the beginning of her quest, Jeanne is eager only to find the resolution which will allow her to fade. But, soon it is apparent there is a mystery involved in her identity and the details of recorded history. Is she really the daughter of famous painter, Elizabeth Vigee Le Brun? Did her mother take the place of Marie Antoinette on the guillotine?
Jeanne comes to realize that Everlasting is not just where souls go when they fade, it’s also emotions and relationships that continue through the centuries. With this comprehension, she becomes desperate to stay in the land of the living, but fading is not the choice of the soul.
Everlasting is romantic fiction, with a supernatural twist, completed at 75,000 words for which I am seeking representation. Thank you for your time and kind consideration.
Sincerely,
me
When you die, you’re supposed to go to Everlasting. That’s what the souls believe. But Jeanne has been dead for hundreds of years and yet she aimlessly wanders the halls of The Lourve in modern-day Paris.
Her aimlessness ends the day she encounters Etienne Armand, a fashion designer on the brink of ruin. Finding that he can see her shocks her into realizing that she has forgotten who she was and how she died. She now feels compelled to investigate memories of her past with the help of two other souls who have resisted fading. While painful memories of her tragic history slowly emerge, she is inexorably drawn into the world of the living as she embarks on a plan to help Etienne save his failing couture house, and they recognize a mutual attraction with roots in her previous life.
In the beginning of her quest, Jeanne is eager only to find the resolution which will allow her to fade. But, soon it is apparent there is a mystery involved in her identity and the details of recorded history. Is she really the daughter of famous painter, Elizabeth Vigee Le Brun? Did her mother take the place of Marie Antoinette on the guillotine?
Jeanne comes to realize that Everlasting is not just where souls go when they fade, it’s also emotions and relationships that continue through the centuries. With this comprehension, she becomes desperate to stay in the land of the living, but fading is not the choice of the soul.
Everlasting is romantic fiction, with a supernatural twist, completed at 75,000 words for which I am seeking representation. Thank you for your time and kind consideration.
Sincerely,
me
Query- SOCIAL UPGRADE
Dear _______,
I'm seeking representation for my YA sci-fi novel, SOCIAL UPGRADE, complete at 75,000 words.
Max Foster's 16th birthday isn't quite what he expected. Maybe it's the insanely advanced phone his quirky uncle gives him, or the discovery that he has two identical brothers living in...well, they aren't exactly in the Boston area. Or it could be the holographic snakes that no one else can see wreaking havoc at his Starbucks.
Now Max and his newfound brothers Liam and Gabe are in the "game"- at least, that's what Uncle Renard calls it- a mission to stop the wi-fi breeding snakes from spreading a deadly virus that's already claimed thousands of lives around the world. Armed with their phones, they can travel to any city threatened with an outbreak using the TeleTransitSystem, and download any skill they need thanks to the handy Ad-I (Additional Intelligence) widget.
But when they find the source of the virus- a program designed by a scientist-turned-religious zealot- the three boys also discover who- or what- they really are. The program wasn't intended to kill humans...it was designed to kill them. And they may be mankind's only hope for survival.
I'm an ESL teacher, and SOCIAL UPGRADE is my first novel.
I appreciate your time and consideration!
I'm seeking representation for my YA sci-fi novel, SOCIAL UPGRADE, complete at 75,000 words.
Max Foster's 16th birthday isn't quite what he expected. Maybe it's the insanely advanced phone his quirky uncle gives him, or the discovery that he has two identical brothers living in...well, they aren't exactly in the Boston area. Or it could be the holographic snakes that no one else can see wreaking havoc at his Starbucks.
Now Max and his newfound brothers Liam and Gabe are in the "game"- at least, that's what Uncle Renard calls it- a mission to stop the wi-fi breeding snakes from spreading a deadly virus that's already claimed thousands of lives around the world. Armed with their phones, they can travel to any city threatened with an outbreak using the TeleTransitSystem, and download any skill they need thanks to the handy Ad-I (Additional Intelligence) widget.
But when they find the source of the virus- a program designed by a scientist-turned-religious zealot- the three boys also discover who- or what- they really are. The program wasn't intended to kill humans...it was designed to kill them. And they may be mankind's only hope for survival.
I'm an ESL teacher, and SOCIAL UPGRADE is my first novel.
I appreciate your time and consideration!
Query- Hollow
Dear [Agent's Name]:
[Personalized paragraph if this agent likes such things]
After Malayka sees her parents kill each other mere feet away from her, guilt threatens to overwhelm her - the guilt threatens the wall she's built around herself to survive all the disappointment and pain she's suffered through in her life. Malayka blames herself for her mother's death. After all, her mother picked the fatal fight because of her. Malayka's father had always started and finished the many fights that came before the last one.
At their parents' funeral, Malayka and C.J. meet the aunt, uncle and cousin they are to live with now for the first time. When they arrive in Blue Crest, Virginia, Malayka is forced into a new life of privilege many would love, but she doesn't want it. Malayka, who deals with the past by not dealing with it and who deals with emotion by not allowing herself to feel any, will be stripped of her defenses. While trying to find a way to be normal and blend in, she will find that the past she seeks to avoid continually plagues her present. When a visitor from her past shows up and threatens to destroy her hopes for a normal future, she is forced to realize that ignoring the past is not a viable way of putting it behind her.
HOLLOW is a 78,000-word multicultural young adult novel. It is a coming-of-age story with plot twists similar to those of a psychological thriller. This is a story about how domestic violence affects an entire family. It is also about healing and moving on after experiencing tragedy in life.
There is potential for both a prequel and a sequel, but HOLLOW is capable of standing on its own. Currently, I do not have any published work to my credit. I hope you have enjoyed learning a little about HOLLOW. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you,
Nicole Green
[Contact Info Redacted]
[Personalized paragraph if this agent likes such things]
After Malayka sees her parents kill each other mere feet away from her, guilt threatens to overwhelm her - the guilt threatens the wall she's built around herself to survive all the disappointment and pain she's suffered through in her life. Malayka blames herself for her mother's death. After all, her mother picked the fatal fight because of her. Malayka's father had always started and finished the many fights that came before the last one.
At their parents' funeral, Malayka and C.J. meet the aunt, uncle and cousin they are to live with now for the first time. When they arrive in Blue Crest, Virginia, Malayka is forced into a new life of privilege many would love, but she doesn't want it. Malayka, who deals with the past by not dealing with it and who deals with emotion by not allowing herself to feel any, will be stripped of her defenses. While trying to find a way to be normal and blend in, she will find that the past she seeks to avoid continually plagues her present. When a visitor from her past shows up and threatens to destroy her hopes for a normal future, she is forced to realize that ignoring the past is not a viable way of putting it behind her.
HOLLOW is a 78,000-word multicultural young adult novel. It is a coming-of-age story with plot twists similar to those of a psychological thriller. This is a story about how domestic violence affects an entire family. It is also about healing and moving on after experiencing tragedy in life.
There is potential for both a prequel and a sequel, but HOLLOW is capable of standing on its own. Currently, I do not have any published work to my credit. I hope you have enjoyed learning a little about HOLLOW. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you,
Nicole Green
[Contact Info Redacted]
Apr 13, 2009
Query- Midnight
Date
Agent Name-spelled-right
Literary Agency
Address
Address
Dear Agent Name-spelled-right,
Midnight is the first novel in a completed urban fantasy series. Life in rural 1985 Kentucky doesn't equate to simple life when Samantha Clark discovers that what she always believed was garden variety depression is genetically-inherited vampirism. As she struggles to leave behind a life of abuse and emotional disintegration, she also learns what it is to be a vampire--nothing like the books and movies--through the support and guidance of Jeremy, Steve, and her mentor Michael, all of whom share her genetic predisposition and have undertaken similar journeys. Not only does Sami awaken to her vampiric nature, but she also sheds her past perceptions of what she thought she had to be and discovers who she needs to be: her true self after all, in the arms of the Family she always longed for, as an unwanted child who never knew the truth of her roots, of her mother and father.
I grew up in the mountains of southeastern Kentucky. My poetry and short stories have appeared in the Stories from the Red Light District anthology, the Aegri Somnia anthology, the upcoming Harlan County Horrors anthology, and the Help anthology. I am a member of the Toasted Cheese online writing community, a contributing editor for Apex Magazine, and an independent book reviewer and editor.
I declare that I am the author and sole owner of Midnight, and the Harlan Vampire Series as a whole, and that it is original and contains no unlawful content, nor does it violate the rights of any third party.
I have included a one page synopsis of Midnight with this letter and will send the completed manuscript (106,481 words) or a portion at your request. I look forward to your response. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Mari Adkins
[[contact information]]
Agent Name-spelled-right
Literary Agency
Address
Address
Dear Agent Name-spelled-right,
Midnight is the first novel in a completed urban fantasy series. Life in rural 1985 Kentucky doesn't equate to simple life when Samantha Clark discovers that what she always believed was garden variety depression is genetically-inherited vampirism. As she struggles to leave behind a life of abuse and emotional disintegration, she also learns what it is to be a vampire--nothing like the books and movies--through the support and guidance of Jeremy, Steve, and her mentor Michael, all of whom share her genetic predisposition and have undertaken similar journeys. Not only does Sami awaken to her vampiric nature, but she also sheds her past perceptions of what she thought she had to be and discovers who she needs to be: her true self after all, in the arms of the Family she always longed for, as an unwanted child who never knew the truth of her roots, of her mother and father.
I grew up in the mountains of southeastern Kentucky. My poetry and short stories have appeared in the Stories from the Red Light District anthology, the Aegri Somnia anthology, the upcoming Harlan County Horrors anthology, and the Help anthology. I am a member of the Toasted Cheese online writing community, a contributing editor for Apex Magazine, and an independent book reviewer and editor.
I declare that I am the author and sole owner of Midnight, and the Harlan Vampire Series as a whole, and that it is original and contains no unlawful content, nor does it violate the rights of any third party.
I have included a one page synopsis of Midnight with this letter and will send the completed manuscript (106,481 words) or a portion at your request. I look forward to your response. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Mari Adkins
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